


Meeting Again for the First Time

by KatyaJade



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Rogan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-02
Updated: 2013-10-27
Packaged: 2017-12-28 05:39:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 36,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/988349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatyaJade/pseuds/KatyaJade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years ago, Logan left the X-Men after Xavier restored his memory. He returns now only to find a very different Rogue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this fic over at ff.net - not realizing this place existed! I'm here now and thought I'd go ahead and start putting some stories up here as well. It's mostly AU but with Rogue and Logan still meeting in movieverse way. My Rogue is probably more comicverse because I like her portrayal in the comics better than the movies. So her powers and how she manifests are going to be different than the movie portrayal. Also, the abomination of X3 never happened. Bottom line, this is my own evil creation and I don't own the characters, etc. etc. Cheers.

~oOo~

Five years was a long time to most people. Time enough to grow up and buy that first legal drink. Maybe to find that special someone and get married. For others five years meant the culmination of a long life or a chance to survive a serious illness. But for Logan, five years were simply a moment in an excruciatingly unnatural existence. He experienced milestones too; watching friends getting older and older, seeing ones he loved suffer and die as he should have done decades ago.

There were, of course, pleasant milestones. Ones that still made him smile when he took the time to remember. But those recollections seemed overshadowed by the darker memories of his past. A past littered with the bodies of those he'd murdered or watched die at the hands of his partners and so-called friends. He sometimes wished he'd never allowed the Professor to unlock his memory. The confrontation with Stryker at Alkali Lake prompted Logan to enlist Professor Xavier's help in recovering what the General had stolen from him nearly fifteen years prior. It took months but in one moment on a fall afternoon, the breakthrough happened. It was as if Logan's mind had finally surrendered itself to the invasion. He'd been overwhelmed with the torrent of information bombarding his mind and within a day, Logan left the mansion.

He'd spent the last five years traveling the world; atoning for past sins. Sometimes it took him to the people he'd known and places he'd lived before and other times he simply helped out where he was needed. Each time he received a 'thank you' or an appreciative nod; it felt like some piece of his humanity was being restored. The wolverine was still part of him but it no longer controlled him as much as Logan had allowed it to in the past.

Through the years he'd contacted the Professor, asking about how things were at the mansion, tentatively making sure that the telepath held no lingering hatred towards him for the things he'd seen in Logan's mind. Not once did Logan ask to speak with anyone there. Not Jean. Not Storm. Not even Marie. The poor kid had received nothing but trouble from him despite Logan's promise of protection. He just knew that without him to screw up her life, she must have been able to have some semblance of normality.

As his motorcycle roared down the tree lined highway, Logan thought about the peace offerings he had in his bags; perfume for Jean, exotic seeds for Storm's garden, a special edition Tennyson for the Professor and new gloves for Marie. Scott's present would be the return of the bike on which Logan was currently sitting. He was sure Scooter would try to kick his ass for taking it. Maybe he'd let one-eye get in a few good shots at him for good measure. Then again, maybe not.

Turning up the lane to the huge mansion, Logan saw a lone figure in the sky. He stopped the bike at the entry gate and looked up, watching the person…a woman…streak upwards and then gracefully wind her way down toward the ground. Just as he caught sight of her long hair, she disappeared behind the building. Realization dawned on him and his breath caught in his throat.

"Holy fuck. _Marie_?"

~oOo~

As she whipped through the air, Rogue laughed as the students scattered and screamed.

"No fair!"

"Miss Rogue, you're cheating!"

Rogue let go of a water balloon and it landed squarely on the back of a young man named Stretch. He yelped as the cold water snaked its way down his back. The lanky boy turned and tried to throw his water balloon at his instructor. She effortlessly dodged his incoming assault, but failed to notice another projectile hurtling its way toward her. As Rogue moved to the left, she felt the water explode over her shirt and she cried out in mock annoyance.

"Now, who thought it was a good idea to get my favorite shirt soakin' wet?"

"That'll teach you to wear your favorite shirt to a water balloon fight, Rogue."

Scott smirked and crossed his arms over his chest. Rogue hovered in the air and held his gaze as she carefully scratched the side of her nose with her middle finger.

"Payback's a bitch, one-eye." She grinned.

Scott watched as Rogue descended to the ground, grabbed another two water balloons and chased some more students down the grass. He heard Storm's laugh as she walked up and stood next to him.

"They do love a good water fight." She smiled.

"It's good for them. They need to blow off steam like normal kids."

"Yes. They deserve some fun after this last year." The white haired woman observed Rogue laughing among the students.

"Rogue seems to have come to terms with everything as well. She has turned in to a good teacher."

The smile on Scott's face faded as he contemplated Storm's words. "I'm not sure how well she's dealing with it all, Storm. Even though she's come so far, I can see the sessions with the Professor exhaust her. She puts on a brave face for everyone else, but she's still fragile."

Storm let the silence linger for a moment and then turned to her friend. Her voice was a near whisper.

"Be careful, Scott."

His head snapped to the side and she could see his eyebrows rise questioningly over the top of his red glasses. "What?"

"I said, _be careful_."

~oOo~

Rogue was attempting another attack on a student when she became aware of being watched. She stopped in her tracks and looked around, scanning the treeline first, then turning toward the mansion. There, standing in the corner of the Professor's office window was the man she hadn't seen in five years.

"Logan."

~oOo~


	2. Chapter 2

~oOo~

Logan stood at the window and stared into the eyes of the girl, no…the _woman_ , whom he hadn't seen or spoken with in five years. If he ran into her on the street, aside from the white streaks in her hair, he had serious doubts he would have been able to recognize her. It wasn't just that she'd filled out…and pretty goddamn nicely, he thought…it was her confidence; the ease at which she carried herself among her students. She was fucking beautiful.

He heard Xavier talking and had to turn away from the glass in order to concentrate. With a wave of his hand, Logan interrupted the Professor mid-sentence.

"So, wait. You're tellin' me that Marie can fly, is practically invulnerable and, to top this shit off, can control her skin?"

"Yes, Logan, that's exactly right."

"Since when?"

The telepath moved his wheelchair to join Logan at the window. The Professor paused and Logan could tell he was choosing his words carefully.

"It's been about a year now. We'd received a call to assist in the infiltration and rescue of mutants from a Friends of Humanity compound. One of the other mutants assisting us was Carol Danvers, otherwise known as Miss Marvel. The mission went well but upon their exit, the team was met with resistance from the Brotherhood."

The thought of Marie having to confront Magneto or Mystique again after what they'd put her through, turned Logan's stomach.

"Apparently, one of the mutants we'd rescued was wanted by Magneto and he intended to retrieve her at any cost. During the battle, one of his telepaths attacked Rogue and, controlling her mind, forced her to turn on Miss Marvel. From what Rogue recalled, visions overtook her and she was deceived into believing Carol Danvers was an enemy."

Logan could hear Charles' heartbeat quicken and smell the man's anger as he recounted what happened that day.

"Carol flew as high as she could, trying to get herself free of Rogue's grasp. But, ultimately, Rogue's mutation won out and she absorbed all of Carol Danvers."

Logan didn't want to say the words. "Marie….."

"Killed her. Yes."

Logan's next word spilled from his lips in a growl. "Goddammit." He stepped away from the window, his thoughts racing. The wolverine began to snarl in the recesses of his mind; snapping and clawing at the thought of what Marie had endured at the hands of Magneto once again.

"She's struggling, Logan. Prior to the attack, she'd been doing so well with her powers. We'd found a way to help her control them; access them when she needed to and then file them away, so to speak, until necessary."

Charles turned the chair and moved back to his desk, folding his hands on top of the dark wood surface.

"Afterwards, we had to keep her in isolation for a week. Her powers manifested on their own, she was hearing voices; mostly those of Carol Danvers. But Rogue said the others she'd absorbed, even slightly, began speaking as well. I'm attempting to help her in the best way I can but she's a very powerful mutant, Logan. More so than we ever thought possible. Probably even more than Jean."

He paused and Logan sensed the apprehension at what the Professor wanted to say next.

"I'm afraid for her. So very afraid."

~oOo~

Feigning a smile, Rogue put her hands up in mock surrender. "That's it, y'all win! I give up!"

The students cheered as she dropped her water balloons on the ground and stood for a moment, looking at the now empty window. He was back. After five years Logan was here at the mansion. Marie thought she'd prepared herself for the possibility of him returning but the actual moment was more jarring than she'd expected. The plain fact of the matter was that she'd long ago let go of her teenage crush on the dark and brooding Wolverine. When he left so hurriedly, she found herself walking past his door, pining for him; waiting for him to come back. But as that first year passed day by excruciating day, she grew busy with friends, her college courses and, finally, mercifully, she was able to cross his door without that ache of loneliness filling her chest.

To her surprise, the feelings she'd held for Logan had been replaced by a deep resentment. She understood the shock of getting his memories back and the need to escape and deal with them as he needed to. The little girl in her was upset that he reneged on his promise to protect her but the woman in her knew he had to reconcile himself with his past. But that knowledge didn't lessen the fact that he'd abandoned them…her and never once contacted anyone. Contacted her.

The years wore on and she learned to access and control her powers more efficiently. She began going on missions with the X-Men and saw their respect toward her grow as she proved herself not only in battle, but as a responsible adult.

Then came the day everyone referred to as 'the incident'. She didn't want to remember the feeling of Carol Danvers' entire essence flooding into her body, invading her mind; screaming and struggling to be set free.

Before Carol Danvers, Rogue's powers had been safely ensconced in her mind, accessible only when called upon.

Before Carol Danvers, Rogue had finally begun to feel a sense of belonging and normality.

Before Carol Danvers, Rogue had never murdered anyone.

Rogue turned away from the mansion, the laughter of the students fading as she found herself safely among the trees. She allowed her feral senses to overtake her and ran into the shelter of the woods.

~oOo~

Scott stepped forward, watching as Rogue disappeared into the dense treeline.

"What the hell was that all about?"

Ororo shook her head. "I do not know, Scott. Maybe she is experiencing another flashback."

The sound of the Professor's wheelchair rose behind the two teachers.

"Ororo. Scott."

The duo turned to greet their friend and stopped when they saw who was standing by his side. Ororo was the first to speak.

"Logan?" She moved to him and put her arms around his shoulders. "It is good to see you." Her dark eyes moved from Logan to the Professor. "And…are you staying?"

"Yeah, Ro. I'm stayin'."

Scott crossed his arms and moved back to face the students, still chasing each other around the grass.

"Your ride's out back, Scooter."

"Already bought a new one."

"Well, then I guess you got two."

"Keep it."

"Jesus, Scott, stop bein' such a dick and just come out with it."

The team leader turned around, placing his hands at his sides. His brow furrowed with anger and he took a deep breath. Logan could hear Scott's heartbeat race and smell the testosterone in the air. The tone of his voice was low, as if it took complete control not to give in to his rage.

"I don't give a shit about my bike. You could have sold it for scrap for all I care. You _left_. You abandoned this team, turned your back on those kids...some who depended on you, Logan. The Professor's running things so if he wants you here, I'm not going to fight it. But if you do something to hurt anyone in this mansion or jeopardize what we do, I will fucking _incinerate_ you."

Scott Summers held Logan's gaze for only a few seconds before stepping forward and walking past him, avoiding the temptation to hit him on the shoulder as he went.

Xavier spoke first. "I'm sorry, Logan. It wasn't appropriate for Scott to lash out at you like that."

"He's right and you know it, Chuck. If I do somethin' stupid again, I sure as hell hope one-eye blasts me into next week."

Charles nodded, smiling weakly, and turned his wheelchair, his form growing darker as he moved inside the house.

Logan stepped bedside Ororo and they watched as the kids continued assaulting each other with water, laughing and enjoying themselves. He was sure they didn't do this often enough.

"So…where's Marie?"

Ororo didn't take her eyes off the children when she answered. "She prefers to be addressed as Rogue. Mostly likely, she is in the woods. That is where she goes to think."

The woods. "Any particular reason that she wants to run around in the trees? I always took Marie for the indoor type."

Storm's voice was full of sadness. "Since the incident, Rogue has had…difficulties…managing the absorbed mutations. There are only a few that she cannot fully control. Yours are particularly troublesome."

"Troublesome?"

"The Professor does not know why. Maybe it is the fact that she touched you twice and both times were fairly prolonged. It could be that her previous emotional attachment to you has resurfaced and those mutations are serving as a comfort. Whatever the reason, in times of stress, Rogue retreats to the woods."

"Emotional attachment? Christ, Ro. You make it sound like the kid was in love with me or somethin'."

Now it was Ororo's turn to be angry. Her scent spiked quickly and he almost stepped backward when she turned to face him.

"Logan, Rogue was never just a kid. When she took your mutation, she took a part of you. Your memories. Your feelings. It was not some infatuation, she needed you. There was a bond she felt that you completely ignored because of your own obsession with finding your past. After you left, without even saying goodbye, may I remind you, she was devastated."

He could smell the salty tears forming in the weather goddess's eyes.

"But she grew up, Logan. She became a strong woman. Then, after Carol, she was…broken. She spent a week in the med lab with nightmares, her powers coming out at random times, screaming…" Ororo took a breath. "It has been a year of pure hell for her, Logan. And I do not want to see her hurt again."

She looked at him in the face again. "Do you understand what I am saying to you? I do _not_ want to see her hurt."

He could barely muster the will to speak much less come out with some flippant, smart ass comment.

"Yeah, Ro. Yeah, I got it."

"Fine then." Turning her attention to the children, she walked down the small hill. He stood for a moment and ran his hands through his thick hair.

"Goddammit, Marie. I never should have left you."

~oOo~


	3. Chapter 3

~oOo~

Rogue sat in a small clearing next to the creek that ran through the mansion's property. It was her favorite place to be. The sound of the running water helped her to focus on something else other than the torrent of thoughts and voices bombarding her mind. There were days when she practically crawled into Xavier's office, begging for him to do anything to silence them all. But Carol had always been a fighter in life and she certainly wasn't going to be silent in death.

_You bitch._

"Stop it."

_You murdered me._

Rogue stood up, the all too familiar tears filling her eyes again. Her hands flew to the sides of her head and she pressed at her temples, vainly hoping that this time she could silence Carol Danvers.

"I know! I know what I did! I'm sorry, I can't take it back!"

_Die._

Rogue stumbled to and fro, crying and feeling like that scared seventeen year old girl huddled in the back of Logan's camper, praying she wouldn't be found. Praying she could go back home and be safe in her own bed.

"I _want_ to die, Carol. Don't you know that? I don't want to live with what I did to you."

Her sobs were coming hard and fast now. She was so tired of crying. So tired of feeling the weight of guilt every day.

_Fight her, kid._

That voice. The one she tried to ignore whenever it surfaced. The cadence of the wolverine's words caressed her mind. They wound their way up from the dark place in her subconscious where all her mutations and powers resided.

"Go away."

_You need me._

"Fuck you."

_I can help ya._

She slumped against a tree, her face cradled in her hands.

"I can't do this."

_You can._

She was about so respond when her senses alerted her to someone coming. The footsteps were heavy and the smell wafting on the warm spring wind made her gasp. Rogue stood up and turned, knowing he'd found her. In only a few more moments, he emerged from behind a large tree and stopped, staring as if he was seeing her for the first time.

"Logan."

"Marie."

Her bitter laughter echoed through the trees. She took a step forward and put her hands on her hips, cocking her head to the side.

"It isn't Marie anymore, Logan."

"Don't play at bein' a badass, Marie, it doesn't suit you."

"And what the flying _fuck_ would you know about what _suits_ me, Logan? You've been gone for five years without so much as a word or a goddamn postcard. So don't stroll out here pretending to be the protector you so spectacularly failed to be."

Pain flashed over his face and, for an instant, Rogue felt the satisfaction of hurting him as much as he'd hurt her. But that gratification didn't last long and her gaze fell to the ground, not wanting him to see the shame and anger in her eyes.

His voice was soft and apologetic.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well we're all sorry for something, aren't we?"

He stepped towards her and she caught his scent again. Musky and dark, the smell of his sadness tinged with…desire? Oh, that was the fucking definition of ironic.

"Look, Logan, you're back and that's just peachy freaking keen, I'm sure. But things have changed. As you may have noticed, I'm not a girl anymore and I don't need you rescuing me again. Just go away."

"I know you ain't a girl anymore, darlin'. I just want to help you."

"I don't need your help."

He could smell her rage and underlying fear. She was like a frightened animal; skittish and ready to flee. He stopped where he was and held out his hands as if in surrender.

"Fine. Look, I just wanted to see you. Find out how you were. They filled me in on…" He didn't know how to finish.

Her face grew dark with anger. He knew. Of course he knew, they wouldn't hide something like that from him.

"Filled you in on what? The _incident_?" Her fingers made quotation marks in the air, punctuating the sarcastic words flowing out of her clenched jaws.

"That's what they call it, you know. 'The incident'. As if they can't bring themselves to say what it was. Murder. I'm a murderer now, Logan. Guess we have more in common now, huh?"

"You ain't a murderer, Marie. They attacked you."

She turned from him and that joyless laugh filled the air once again. "God, Logan, don't you think I've heard all this before? From the Professor, Ororo, Scott? They've all told me the same shit over and over. It wasn't my fault. I was tricked. Whatever. The bottom line is that I killed another person, Logan. And now she's in my head. Every fucking minute of every fucking day. She knows what I am. She knows…."

The unexpected sob broke through on her last word. She almost collapsed forward. Logan could sense it and moved to catch her, but just as suddenly, Rogue stood straight up, looked him in the eye and put her hand out in front of her.

"No. I don't deserve sympathy Logan. I don't deserve to live."

His mouth opened to speak but before he could, Marie bolted straight up through the trees and took off into the sky. He continued to look upwards, watching the large branches move lazily in the breeze.

Logan sighed, the words floating from his mouth as lightly as the leaves gently riding through the air.

"Marie."

~oOo~

An hour after his confrontation with Marie in the woods, Logan had finished unpacking the last of his meager belongings and sat down on his bed. He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, and ran his hands through his hair. He'd been completely unprepared for what had happened to Marie while he was gone and he had no idea what to do to help. Rogue's scent held no trace of her previous affection for him. She seemed to genuinely hate him.

He shifted on the bed and looked at the black opera gloves sitting on the nightstand. He chided himself for being such an asshole. Here he'd brought her back a gift she didn't even need anymore. Just goes to show how little he knew her, if he ever knew her at all.

"I thought I recognized those surly brainwaves."

Logan looked up and saw Jean standing in the doorway, her arms folded and her right hip shifted to the side.

"Hey, Jeannie."

"So, you back to stay or are you just stopping off for a while?"

He stood and picked up the small box of perfume he'd picked out for her. Funny, at the time he'd chosen this gift, he couldn't help but picture her naked, dabbing the aromatic liquid behind her ears seductively. Now, as he looked at her, the lust and desire that overwhelmed him in the past was completely absent.

"I'm stayin'. Here, got this for ya."

She held out her hand and took the box while a sly smile played across her face. Jean took a few steps forward and opened it, taking the bottle out and inspecting it carefully.

"You have good taste, Logan." Her eyes found his. "You've always had good taste."

The wave of pheromones wafted through the room as she shifted her hips again. To his utter shock, he could feel the wolverine inside of him actually recoil from her. It was acting the same way a dog would react to danger; raising its hackles and growling.

"Yeah, well, I ain't good at most things, but the gal at the counter said this was good stuff."

"I missed you, Logan." Her left hand moved to his chest and he stepped backward.

"You still with Scott?"

She stopped advancing but looked deeply into his eyes. "Scott and I are…taking a break." This time, along with the increase in her scent, he felt her psychic energy wind it's way through his mind. He took her by the arms and stepped her backwards.

"The fuck, Jean? You tryin' to get in my head?"

"Why are you so shy all of a sudden? Five years ago, you would have had me pinned on that bed the minute I walked through that door."

Jean stepped forward again and whispered in his ear. "Now there's nothing stopping you."

Logan shook his head, still holding her arms and walked her backwards to the door.

"I don't like being played, Jean. Get the hell out."

Her face fell immediately and her eyes became dark and hateful. "Don't push me, Logan. You might not like what happens."

"I'll take my chances."

Jean turned quickly and walked out the door. He listened as the sound of her heels gradually faded away. She was right. Five years ago, if he'd gotten the chance, he would have had her six ways from Sunday all over his room. Now, the only thought that came to mind was that he wished it was Marie standing in that doorway.

~oOo~

At the same time as Jean and Logan's conversation in his room, Rogue stood in the kitchen, putting together a sandwich from the previous day's leftovers. Seemed she was always hungry lately. Apparently, being able to fly and rip doors off handles gives one an enhanced metabolism. She chuckled lightly to herself.

"I like hearing you laugh again Rogue."

Scott came through the doors and joined her at the counter. Her hair was windswept and, through the red haze of his glasses, he could tell she was flushed from being outside.

She returned his gaze and smiled. "Yeah, well, I've decided to take a break from being the tortured, angst ridden 'incident' survivor for a few minutes."

"Don't, Rogue."

Rogue took her sandwich, beer and chips to the table as she spoke. "Sorry, sorry. I know you don't like it when I talk about myself like that."

"No, honestly, I hate it."

Her mouth full, she looked up at him in surprise. Scott had always been the firm and steady X-Men leader but in the past several months, he'd become more willing to loosen up, have a good time and say what he was thinking. But he'd never really been confrontational or talked with her about 'the incident' despite the fact that he seemed to always be around, helping or supporting her when she was having a rough go of it. For the second time that day, she felt like a total bitch.

"I'm sorry, Scott." She said through a mouthful of turkey and bread.

He shook his head and sat down across from her. With the glare of the setting sun on his glasses, she could see the outline of his eyes beneath the ruby lenses. He had beautiful eyes.

"You don't have to apologize to me. I just don't like to hear you talking down about yourself. I don't think I would have been nearly as strong as you if I'd had to go through the same thing."

"You're wrong, Scott. You're a natural leader. You have a determination that very few people have."

Scott leaned forward and placed his hand over hers. "Rogue, the strength you've shown in the last year has been amazing. You'll get through this. We'll help you, okay? Just don't give up."

She never got tired of being able to feel someone else's skin against hers. Moving her fingers, she laced hers together with his and looked back up at Scott's face.

"I'm really trying, Scott. But I think Carol and the others might be winning."

His grip tightened and his jawline flexed. "No. We're not going to let that happen."

Rogue smiled wanly and her eyes trailed across the details of his face. "Let's hope the Professor has some more tricks up his sleeve, huh?"

"He does. He has to. Maybe Jean could help too. She's become much more powerful…"

"No."

"But, why…if it could help…"

"Not just no, but fucking _hell no_ , Scott. I don't want her poking around in my head."

"Alright."

"I'm serious."

"I know. It's fine, Rogue. Whatever you want."

She took a breath and calmed herself. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For always being there. For being a friend when I needed one."

"Always. I'll always be there for you."

As she looked into his eyes, she recognized something she hadn't seen before. There was a tenderness, a sadness and longing that permeated his face. The last time she'd seen Scott look that way was after the team thought Jean died saving them at Alkali Lake. Rogue let go of Scott's hand and sat back slowly.

"Scott."

The sound of laughing children filled the hallway.

"Hey, Miss Rogue! Great game this afternoon!"

Like the flick of a light switch, Rogue was the bubbly, confident young teacher again. She stood up, taking her half eaten sandwich to the counter.

"You too, Frank. But next time, try and work harder at not exploding the water balloons over my head."

The boy giggled and waved as he went out the patio door.

"Got it! Later!"

"Later, Frank."

She turned around to say something to Scott but his chair was empty.

~oOo~


	4. Chapter 4

~oOo~

It was the dead of night and, once again, Rogue was unable to sleep. Hank and Jean had come up with a nice little cocktail of drugs that usually knocked her out for a few hours at a time; if vivid nightmares and struggling with the myriad of personalities in her head could be called sleep. However, in the last few weeks, Rogue had found that the drugs were much less effective as they had been and she would find herself awake all night, haunted by voices and focused on controlling the powers attempting to surge forth from within.

She stood at the window, feeling the cool breeze caress her face. With no effort, she lifted herself up and out the open frame and descended to the grass below. She lay back and allowed her feral senses to wash over her. Rogue heard the rustling of the undergrowth as the nocturnal hunters made their way through the forest. She saw the detail of the leaves overhead, swaying in the nighttime air. She smelled…

"Logan."

A light chuckle floated its way to her hypersensitive ears. "You knew it was me?"

"Only one man smells like cigars, motor oil and sweat."

"You flatter me, kid."

He felt her bristle at the name. At once he regretted letting it slip.

"Sorry… _Rogue_."

She sat up, crossing her legs as she did so. "Dammit, why do you have to be so patronizing?"

"I'm not tryin' to tick you off, darlin'. It's been a long time. Guess I don't know you as well as I thought."

"Well, there's an Einstein level observation."

"Now who's bein' patronizing."

Logan sat down. Close enough to talk but far enough to give her space.

"I just want to talk, okay? I've barely seen you the last couple of days."

"Well, I do have a job here, you know."

"Rogue…"

She wanted to believe that it was the combination of drugs and sleep deprivation that made her resistance low. But, deep down, Rogue knew that there was a part of her…a pretty large part, actually…that responded to Logan on a primal level. It made her feel out of control and that, quite frankly, pissed her off.

"Fine. So you say hi to Jean yet?"

She was going right for the jugular. Logan realized this was not going to be an easy conversation.

"Yeah. She found me."

"Well, she and Scott aren't together right now, so you should be good to go, cowboy."

"I ain't barkin' up that tree anymore."

Rogue turned to him, a lopsided grin playing across her face.

"Don't bullshit me, Logan. She's always been the carrot at the end of your stick. So to speak." She chuckled humorlessly.

"Seems you're not the only one who changed, then. 'Cause I ain't interested."

The thought flew through her mind in an instant… _yeah, well, who are you interested in then?_ She shrugged and sat back, resting on her hands. "Logan not panting after a hot, single redhead. This might be a sign of the apocalypse."

"Let's change the damn subject already."

"Whatever floats your boat."

She could detect the change in his heartbeat and the shift in his scent as he began to speak.

"Look, darlin', I'm sorry for leavin'. I've always been a selfish asshole and that was probably my crownin' moment. The only explanation I got is that in one minute I saw a hundred years of memories. I just didn't know how to deal."

Rogue's voice was gentle but still had a firm edge around it. "We could have helped, you know."

"Yeah, I'm sure you could. But it wasn't just needin' help. I had to do my penance. Make amends where I could."

"I get that you had to get away for a while. But…five years. Five freaking _years_ you've been gone and I've resented you pretty much every day since. Now you're here and, what? We're supposed to go back to you being my buddy again?"

He shook his head, his hands absently picking at the grass in front of him.

"Yes. No." His shoulders flexed up and down. "I don't know. I just expected you to be...well, shit, I don't know what the hell I expected."

"Probably not a psychopathic head case with a penchant for peeing in the woods."

"Why do you do that?"

"What?"

"Make with the smart ass comments?"

That genuinely made her laugh. "You deal with your shit in one way, I deal with it in another, okay?" Rogue sighed deeply. "Look. I get that you have no idea what to make of me. Hell, neither do I. I'm just doing the best I can right now and, honestly, that's not getting me so far."

There was a pause; a comfortable silence in which they both rested for a few minutes.

"Can you hear them all the time?"

"Yeah. Most of the time it's Carol. The Professor thinks her mutation is the one able to give me skin control, for some reason. That maybe because absorbing her made me so much more powerful, it triggered something inside that caused all my other mutations to go out of whack." A beat passed before she spoke again. "Or maybe it's because I've never killed someone before."

He didn't know how to respond. There was really nothing he could say to make her feel any better. When you take someone's life, it changes you forever.

"The first person I ever killed was Thomas Logan. I was defendin' my mama and my claws came out for the first time. I ran him right through. I was terrified, angry, guilty... Those feelin's never go away."

"I need it to, Logan. I need her…them…to go away. The only one that keeps me sane is…"

She stopped and he could tell by the rise in her heartbeat that she was hiding something.

"What."

"Nevermind. Really. I'm just tired and I need to try and get some sleep." Rogue stood up and, immediately Logan was standing in front of her.

"You don't need to run away, darlin'."

Her soft chuckle was like the starting note of a beautiful song. "Seems like one of us is always running away, huh?"

His large hand was surprisingly soft as it swept across her cheek. Feeling his touch on her skin for the first time made her breath stall in her chest. His voice came out as a low rumble.

"Yeah, well, I ain't runnin' anymore, and if you go, I'm gonna follow."

She didn't think Logan's eyes could get any more piercing than they already were. She was wrong.

"Then I guess you'd better be ready for a workout." Rogue smiled and covered his hand with hers. The shift in his scent was obvious and she was sure he was alert to hers as well. She didn't want to be vulnerable or to allow her feelings for him to hurt her all over again. It was all too confusing. She began to rise up from the ground and felt Logan try to hold on to her hand more tightly.

"Night Logan."

"Rogue."

"Goodnight Logan."

Their hands drifted apart and he watched as she floated gracefully up to her open window, turned and disappeared inside.

"Night Marie."

Neither of them noticed Scott watching their interchange from the darkness of the kitchen.

~oOo~

"I still hate needles, Hank."

"Yes, I know, my dear and they hate you."

"Ow."

"Oh, stop complaining, Rogue. Your skin is practically impenetrable and you have a healing factor."

"I know, but I don't want you to feel like I enjoy this torture. Can I complain just a little?"

Hank moved to his tray and began placing electrodes on her head. It was a ritual she endured every week for almost a year. She wouldn't have minded as much if the tests changed at all but every result remained the same and every conference with the big blue doctor and his redheaded Madame Curie ended with the same conclusion; it was only a matter of time before the powers overtook her completely.

"Lie down, Rogue."

Jean was unusually sullen today. Over the last few years as her powers increased, Jean's personality had shifted. The thoughtful and sensitive woman Rogue knew when she first arrived at the mansion had slowly been overshadowed by a calculating and selfish person. It had only taken a short time after her return from Alkali Lake for Rogue and the others to recognize that she'd changed. It was subtle at first, but gradually, the Phoenix power, as the Professor called it, was gaining ground. Jean was still loyal to the team and attentive to the children as well as her medical duties, but Rogue knew it wouldn't be long before something inside her snapped and the Jean Grey they knew in the past would be gone forever.

"I'm going to retrieve a few supplies from the subbasement. Jean, if you would keep an eye on the monitors. I'll return shortly."

Hank disappeared through the rear door and within a minute Jean's voice broke through the silence.

"So, you must be happy to see Logan again."

"I don't think happy is quite the right word, Jean."

"Well, I know how much of a crush you had on him; how much he hurt your feelings were when he left."

Rogue's lips pursed together and her jaw clenched. She was not going to allow herself to be subjected to Jean's passive aggressive shit anymore.

"Probably no more hurt than you were, I guess."

"Me? My feelings weren't hurt in the slightest."

"Maybe hurt feelings isn't the right term, I suppose. But you must have been disappointed to have Logan leave before you could fuck around with him behind Scott's back."

Rogue could smell the anger rolling off Jean. The wolverine inside of her snickered and she was fairly sure she heard a few of her other 'inside friends' chuckle as well. Jean turned from the monitor and Rogue both saw and felt the change in Jean's personality.

"How _dare_ you."

Rogue sat up, ignoring the fact that she was still attached to various and sundry probes and wires.

"Oh, I dare alright. You insult me and make me feel like a freak at every turn. You treat Scott like shit and then when Logan shows up, you sniff around him like a bitch in heat. Don't think I'm taking this crap from you anymore, Jean. I'm not that terrified seventeen year old runaway."

Jean moved closer to Rogue with all the predatory grace of a jungle cat. Rogue thought for a minute that she might actually pounce.

"No, you're not a terrified seventeen year old, Rogue. But you _are_ terrified. You don't think I can hear your mind crying out almost every minute of every day? You're losing control and you know it. Soon, you're powers will destroy you and there's nothing you or I or the Professor can do about it."

Rogue was taken aback by the physical changes taking place in Jean. Her eyes began to turn black and her face began to pulse with dark, sickly colored veins.

"Jean, calm down."

"You will _not_ tell me what to do, little one."

"Jean!" Hank McCoy's voice was overrun with fear and concern.

As if a veil had been dropped across her face, Jean smiled and turned to the doctor as if nothing had happened. He stepped forward and looked Rogue in the eye.

"I think we're done for today, Rogue. Thank you."

She couldn't get out of the med lab fast enough.

~oOo~


	5. Chapter 5

~oOo~

"No shit, chica?"

"No shit, Jubes."

"Well, slap my ass and call me Shirley."

"I'll call you Shirley, but I'm _not_ touching your ass."

Jubilee laughed so loudly into the phone that Rogue almost had to move the handset away from her ear. Jubilation Lee was Rogue's best friend. They'd met when Rogue first arrived at the mansion and the two girls had bonded quickly. It wasn't difficult with Jubilee following Rogue around, begging the new arrival to go shopping and offering to buy her some 'kickin' ensembles'. Jubilee was someone Rogue could talk to about everything and anything.

Jubilee had been at Stanford medical school at the time of the 'incident'. Her friend had taken a six week leave of absence to be with her but when Rogue realized the situation could be permanent, she told Jubilee to go back and finish school. That was one of the only knock down drag out fights they'd ever had. In the end, Jubilee had relented, not pleased to leave Rogue to deal with the aftermath on her own.

They'd been on the phone for at least thirty minutes. Rogue had detailed the events of the last week; after getting seriously scolded by the petite Asian for not calling her sooner.

"I always knew that big Neanderthal had a thing for you."

"Jubilee, I was _seventeen_."

"Yeah, and he's, like, one hundred and fifty. Everyone probably looks seventeen to him. Maybe he wasn't in love with you, but he knew you were something special, girl. And you are. No matter what that bitchy redhead tells you."

The memory of Jean's anger was still fresh in Rogue's mind. She tried to play it off but Rogue knew she probably didn't sound too convincing.

"I try to ignore her, Jubes."

Jubilee's voice took on that feisty tone that it did when she got herself riled up. "Bullshit. You want people to like you, Roguey, and they do. She's just batshit nuts and you know it. You need to be careful, chica. I don't want you in her way when she decides to go nuclear."

"Got it, Jubes."

"I'm serious, Rogue."

"I know you are, okay? I'll be careful."

"Speaking of being careful, make sure tall, dark and hairy wears a condom on that little wolverine of his."

"Jubilation Lee!"

"Don't pretend you haven't thought about it."

"We just talked, Jubes! He only just got back here and I don't even know if I want to…oh hell…I don't know what I want."

" _Him_ , you bonehead. You hear him in your head. His is the only personality in that scrambled egg mess of a brain that can calm you down."

"I love how you're so sensitive to my feelings, Sparky."

"Dude, you know you want the big lug. Just let him in." Jubilee's voice shifted. It was quiet and serious. "Yeah, he fucked up. But he told you he's sorry. And you can sense how much he wants you, right? A guy doesn't come back after five years just to screw someone, Rogue. He cares about you. Probably loves you."

"He just really hurt me, Jubes. Physically, it's like I found my other half. The feral side of me wants to run naked in the woods with the guy. But I don't know if I can trust him."

"Then take it slow. But don't shut him out; you need him as much as he needs you."

Rogue smiled. She was grateful for a friend like Jubilation Lee. "You always tell it like it is."

"Someone's gotta keep you honest, girl. Just watch yourself. I'll see you in few weeks after exams, okay?"

"Can't wait. The mall here is in need of some serious damage."

"I'll bring my platinum card and a UHaul truck."

"Thanks, Jubes. Love you, firecracker."

"Love you too, redneck."

~oOo~

A few hours after her conversation with Jubilee, Rogue was in the Danger Room, working on a training session with some of the more advanced students.

"Colossus, now!"

Rogue watched as the Russian threw a metal pole at the Sentinel's head. It lodged in the robot's eye socket and she used it as a lever to tear the side of its head away from its body.

"Boomer, you're up!"

The young boy stepped forward, spread his arms wide and then forced them back together, expressing a massive wave of energy. The Sentinel's body shuddered and exploded.

Scott and Logan watched the action from the Danger Room control booth. Both of them were focused more on Rogue than the actual dynamics of the battle.

"She's good." There was a note of pride in Logan's voice.

The team leader nodded. "Yes. She's damn good." He paused, choosing his next words carefully. "But she's becoming more unpredictable."

"How?"

"Before she took Miss Marvel's powers, Rogue could call upon her mutations quickly and efficiently. She was like a surgeon in battle. Now, her control is all over the place. She might want to call up on Magneto's power, but there will be a sudden surge and she'll explode something with fire."

"Dammit."

"You can see that she's only limiting herself to Carol's powers right now. She's afraid to hurt the children."

"What the hell can we do?"

"According to Charles, there's nothing we can do."

"That ain't good enough."

The door opened as Logan finished speaking. Hank entered the room, smiling from ear to ear.

"She's controlling them."

Both men turned to the large, blue doctor and responded in unison. "What?"

"The tests. I ran them five different ways. There's something changing, reversing the encroachment of her powers."

Logan spoke first. "But she said she still hears the voices."

"Yes, yes, I'm sure she does. But for a moment the other day, during her confrontation with Jean…"

"What the _fuck_ happened with Jean?" Logan was not going to let Jean get away with bullying Marie. Not in the slightest.

Hank had not intended to inadvertently incite Wolverine so he attempted to minimize the tension with a wave of his massive, furry hand. "Oh, well, they had a little argument in the medical lab. But the important issue is that during that state of heightened anger," He pointed to the colorful lines on the paper. "...here, you can see it on the brain scan, she was able to suppress her mutations."

The doctor looked up with a large smile, genuinely excited about this new revelation. Scott was about to speak when a scream erupted from the Danger Room. The three men ran to the window and saw Rogue plummeting to the ground, clutching the side of her head.

~oOo~

She awoke in the med lab, once again listening to the faint beep of the machines. As her eyes slowly opened, she inhaled a familiar scent and turned to see Logan asleep in a chair next to her bed. He stirred and her heart clenched at the sight of him. She wanted to be angry; to dredge up those feelings of abandonment and loneliness. It would help her push him away. But when she saw him in that window the first day he arrived, her primal nature stirred; the senses and abilities absorbed from Logan all those years ago weren't just a mutation to switch on and off. They were an essential part of her now and something inside was calling for Logan. It was an awareness she hadn't noticed until recently. Her feral side wanted a companion and she was pretty sure it had chosen him.

"My dear Rogue, it is good to see you awake."

Hank whispered, trying not to wake up Logan.

"How long have I been out?"

"Let's see, it is twelve am.…almost fourteen hours."

She wasn't sure she'd heard him correctly. "Fourteen hours?"

"Yes, my dear."

"Hank, I haven't slept for more than two hours at a time in almost a year."

"I know. What do you remember?"

Rogue sat up and became aware of Logan's eyes on her. He was listening intently, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. The tension and worry radiated from him so strongly it made her breath catch.

"I was running through the simulation and Carol became more vocal in my head. The others started to come out as well, but then…the wolverine surfaced. Carol became enraged and that's when the pain started. I couldn't focus, she was everywhere. Then…I was here."

"Yesterday, after you left, I went through your tests. Rogue, you are beginning to show signs of control over Carol and the other mutations."

Rogue didn't know how to respond.

"I don't know exactly how, but it is there. Your unconscious state today may have been a response to your mind beginning to express control. A state of…mental hibernation, if you will. You should go see the Professor when you feel up to it."

"Yeah, I'll do that, Hank. Thanks. Can I go?"

"Most certainly."

Logan stood up and helped Rogue off the table. "You want to get changed, darlin'? Your clothes are over there."

"No. Just grab me one of the robes. I need a shower. And a beer. Or two. Or four."

"You can do the first thing while I go get a case of the other."

"Deal."

~oOo~

Scott closed the door to the med lab and was turning to walk away when he came face to face with Jean.

"Eavesdropping, Scott?"

"No, Jean. I just came to check on Rogue."

"Oh. And how is our precious time bomb doing?"

Scott was saddened at how little he felt he knew the woman he once loved with all his heart. She was someone he didn't recognize anymore.

"You don't need to be so cruel."

She twisted around and there seemed to be a flash of genuine remorse on her face. "You're right, Scott. We all have our burdens to bear, I suppose."

He began walking down the hallway when her voice rose from behind him. "She won't choose you. Not with Logan back."

"Shut up Jean."

"Just want you to be realistic about your chances."

He didn't bother to turn around. "Well, if there's no chance for me and Rogue, then there's sure as hell no chance for you and Logan."

He heard her huff angrily before he turned the corner and went up the stairs.

~oOo~

Rogue had just finished getting dressed when she heard a knock at her door. She assumed it was Logan with the beer.

"Come in!"

As she stepped into the bathroom to get a clip for her damp hair, she called out again. "Just put them on the bed. I hope they're cold."

"Sorry, I don't come bearing gifts, cold or otherwise."

The voice did not belong to Logan. Rogue came out of the bathroom to see Scott standing in her doorway.

"Scott! I'm so sorry, I thought you were Logan with my desperately needed beer. What's going on?"

"Oh, nothing. I just wanted to see how you were."

"You mean after my coma? I'm feeling a bit better. I guess sleep will do that for you."

He shifted slightly and took a tentative step forward. She didn't notice it at first, but she could make out the aroma of alcohol mixing with his anxious, musky scent.

"Scott what's wrong."

He brought his face up and she could tell he was scanning her with his eyes. But where she normally felt a calming presence from Scott, now his gaze held an edge.

"I wanted to see you. I was worried."

She smiled. "I'm doing fine, really."

Scott took another step forward and she could tell he wanted to reach for her - his hands clenched and unclenched as he stood in front of her. Holy hell this was awkward. Just two weeks ago, she probably would have embraced him and now, well, now there was Logan.

"You've had a rough time of it lately. Your powers, Logan showing up and what happened today…it's a lot to handle." He shook his head. "I'm rambling. Look, I'm just…I'm here for you, okay?"

"I know, Scott. You've been the best friend I could ever ask for."

Once again, she felt his eyes boring into hers. "Is that all I am? Just a friend?"

"Scott…"

The pause and drop in her voice was enough to make Scott take two steps backward, almost knocking into the bookshelf. "God, I'm sorry. I never should have come. It was stupid of me…"

"Scott, it's alright."

She took a step toward him but he lifted his arm, his palm outstretched in her direction.

"No, it's not alright. You're going through hell right now. The last thing you need is me coming in here and trying to stake a claim on you." He rubbed his head and she could tell this conversation was quickly sobering him up. "Look, Rogue. You know I care about you. A lot. I just wanted you to know that in case…well, I just wanted you to know."

She wasn't quite sure what to say. "I do, Scott."

"Okay…night then."

He left quickly and she slumped down on the bed, not really knowing how to feel about the fact that one of her friends was in love with her. A friend who, had Logan not returned, might have been sharing her bed.

"This is so bizarre." She wanted to laugh at the irony of the untouchable girl being the recipient of affections from two very hot men but, in her present situation, she didn't find it as amusing as she would have in the past.

She heard the sound of Logan's boots coming down the hallway. For just a second, the rhythm stopped before resuming a faster pace. He reached her door and the scowl on his face mirrored his feelings perfectly.

"What the fuck was Scott doin' in your room?"

"Now that's really none of your business."

He entered her room and put the six pack of beer on her bed. "I think it sure as hell is."

Rogue stood up. "Why? What gives you the right to police my life, Logan?"

"I ain't policin' your life. Just want to know if you and Scooter are…dammit Rogue…" The scent of his anger was quickly overshadowed by confusion. Logan was struggling with his next words. "Do you want him?"

She crossed her arms and let the silence wind him up for just a minute. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose to ward of an impending headache. Slowly she put her hand down and looked at the man standing in front of her.

"Logan, Scott's been a good friend. We've been there for each other for five years and he's done a lot for me since Carol."

"That ain't answerin' my question."

"I care about him, Logan. And if you hadn't shown up here, yes, I probably would have wanted to be with him."

"If I hadn't shown up?"

"God, Logan, don't play this game."

"It ain't a game to me, darlin'."

"Well, I feel like I'm in the middle of some cosmic tennis match. I'm exhausted, in pain most of the time and now I have to deal with the two of you in some pissing match over me. I can't take it anymore, okay?"

"You want me to go?"

The increased throbbing in her head was making her irritable and Logan was on the receiving end of her ire.

"That would be the easy route for you, wouldn't it? It's kind of your M.O. Things get difficult and you take off and nurse your wounds. Well, do it. Go. You said you're sorry, did your penance and made amends, alright? Go wherever you want."

Now he was angry. Wolverine angry. "Fuck all, Rogue, I didn't come here to do penance! I came back here because it's the only damn place I ever felt like I belonged. And that was because _you_ were here." He was pacing now, the words coming like a torrent. "I thought of you all the damn time. Hopin' you were safe, growin' up with a life I never would have been able to give you. I came back for you, alright? Not because of some goddamn obligation. Because I need _you_."

He stopped and looked at her, his eyes still fierce and enraged. "If you want Scott, I'll back off. But not because I don't want you. Because I want what will make you happy. For once in my sorry ass life I want to do the right goddamn thing."

The tears were flowing down her face and as she looked into his eyes, she knew he was being completely honest. That frightened her most of all. Rogue simply didn't know how to deal with the emotions surging inside of her. She remembered Jubilee's words to her and tried to open up instead of running out the door. Her shoulders slumped and her hands went limp at her sides as she sat back down on the bed.

"I don't know what to say, Logan. I just don't know. For five years I've resented you every day for leaving. I even convinced myself I hated you." She finally decided to let go of the feelings that had been left for too long. "But then you show up and as soon as I look at your face, it's like I can see the other half of me that's been missing all this time. I don't want you to go. I want you here with me."

"Darlin'."

She pointed her finger at his chest. "Don't get me wrong, I'm _still_ pissed…and hurt. You weren't here when I needed you the most. I've spent the last year being physically and mentally tortured and you were nowhere to be found. I want to believe that you care…that you'll be here when I need you. I just don't fully trust you yet."

He moved to the bed and took up the space next to her. "I don't blame you, Rogue. I've been a spectacular asshole. But I'm back 'cause I want to earn that trust again. I guess the only way I know to do that is to take care of you. Protect you. Sometimes I get carried away, you know? I'm not exactly the calm and quiet type."

Logan put his hand under her chin and lifted her face to meet his. "But I ain't gonna run this time, Rogue."

His lips were nearly upon hers when the familiar searing pain shot through Rogue's head and neck.

Carol had picked a hell of a time to show up.

~oOo~


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the Kudos! I really appreciate any and all feedback. :)

~oOo~

Moonlight shone through the trees, illuminating them in an otherworldly glow. She didn't remember how she got back to the sanctuary of her woods. One moment she was in her room with Logan and the next, she was running through the trees, underbrush snapping as her feet slammed into the ground. Rogue swept another low hanging branch from her path. The scratches and scrapes on her face and arms were healing almost as quickly as they appeared on her skin. She didn't know where she was going but stopping wasn't an option. If she stopped, she would be overtaken.

_We can win._

"No, I'm not strong enough."

_He can help._

"I'll hurt him."

_You won't._

Control was slipping. Rogue could feel Carol and the others begin to clamor through the feral barrier. She kept running, as if the constant motion of her feet would successfully be able to push down the voices making their way through the cracks in her mind. But it wasn't working. Carol was becoming stronger. She was breaking through.

_You lose._

~oOo~

Logan heard Rogue cry out just a few feet away. As he reached the spot from where she'd just left, her scent overwhelmed him. It was intoxicating, like nothing he'd ever experienced before. If the situation hadn't been as dire as it was now, this would count as amazing foreplay. But as it was, he was the furthest from a state of arousal as he'd ever been. Honestly, he was fucking terrified and he knew Rogue was just as frightened.

He was still close behind her, able to see Rogue's hair catch in the dim light from time to time. After a few more minutes, her scent began to change again. She was in pain. _Fuck._ It was time to stop this.

"Rogue!"

Five years ago, he would have easily overtaken her. Not only was she young, but she hadn't yet come to terms with her abilities. Now, it was if he was engaged with an entirely new person. She was stronger, faster and more agile. He knew some of it was because of the Danvers woman but just as much of her ability had to do with the feral she had become.

Rogue was his and he was going to put an end to her suffering.

He caught sight of her as she stumbled over a fallen branch. She rolled across her shoulder and moved to stand back up but he managed to catch her arm. Rogue turned to him and growled.

"Let go."

"No Rogue."

"Don't do this."

"You're in pain, darlin'."

"Go away, Logan!

"No."

Her resolve was waning now and she struck out, landing a punch on his left cheek, sending him flying backwards onto the ground.

Now it was his turn to growl. He leapt up and charged at her. Rogue rolled to her left and stopped.

"Logan, stop it!"

Her head began to throb and she could feel the powers roiling under her skin.

"Rogue, let me help you. Please."

"You can't fucking help me, Logan!" Once again, sobs racked her body and she crumpled to the ground in defeat. "I can't beat her. I can't beat them. I don't want you hurt, Logan. Please. Go." Inside her head, the wolverine roared.

_Fight her!_

"I can't!"

_You can win.Trust yourself. Trust me._

Logan watched as her tear streaked face grew dark. She looked the same way Jean did when she'd returned from Alkali Lake. It was as if Rogue had been overtaken by another being.

"Rogue?"

"No. You can't have her." The voice sounded like Rogue but he knew in his gut that it was Carol speaking to him. It made him furious that she was torturing Marie and he moved to charge her again. Logan felt his body halted in mid stride. He was paralyzed and helpless as Danvers lifted him into the air, limbs stretched out to the side. Magneto's power. His clenched jaws ached with the effort to speak.

"Rogue. _Marie._ Fight."

He hovered in the air for only a minute before he was slammed back down. Logan remained where he was, attempting to gather his strength when he heard Rogue scream.

"Stop it!"

Her body crumpled to the ground and it looked to him as if she was having a seizure. She thrashed back and forth alternately snarling and shouting. He knew she was fighting and the fury of not being able to help her made his vision blur and his claws itch beneath his skin.

Slowly inching toward her, trying to think of a way to alleviate her pain, Logan watched as she suddenly stopped moving. The silence and stillness unsettled him more than the thrashing.

"Rogue?" He hesitated. Wondering if it was over or just beginning. "Marie?"

He crawled to her side and sat for a moment, observing the slow rise and fall of her chest. She was alive and appeared alright physically. He didn't want to think about what was happening inside her head at this very moment. His hand moved across her face, smoothing down the errant hairs that splayed across her cheeks and forehead.

"Marie. Baby. It's Logan."

So still. Like Snow White waiting for her prince to come and awaken her with a magic kiss. Some fucking prince he was, sitting impotently by her side, unable to do a damn thing to save the woman he loved. He just wanted another chance to do things right. He prayed they would get it.

"You've gotta stay with me, okay, darlin'?"

He was reluctant to move her but he had to get her back to the med lab.

"I'm gonna take you back to Hank. Get you all fixed up." He whispered in her ear then took a moment to kiss her forehead, inhaling the aroma of her perspiration tinged with vanilla and lavender. Gingerly, he swept her into his arms and began to jog carefully back to the mansion.

"I've got you, Marie. I've got you."

~oOo~

The scene reminded Logan of the Frankenstein movie where the mad doctor stands over his creation waiting for any sign that it might be alive. But in this X-Men version, the one mad doctor had been replaced by five tense mutants; Scott, Logan, Charles, Jean and Hank. They stared at Marie as if she would jump up off the med lab table any second. Logan could smell the myriad of emotions rolling off her in waves and it was making him crazy.

"Maybe you should go outside, Logan."

The Professor was trying to be calming but it had the opposite effect. "I'm not going anywhere Chuck." He paced some more. "Can't you do anything? Get in her head?"

"I've tried, Logan. She, or maybe Carol, won't let me in. I've never experienced anything like it."

"She's able to block me out as well." Jean was watching the lines and colors on a monitor when she spoke.

Logan and Scott both whirled around to look at the telepath. Their anger was palpable in the room and Scott made no attempt to soften his voice when he spoke.

"I thought Rogue didn't want you in her head."

The redhead looked up and her eyes tightened. "Do you really want to pick this time to protect her precious privacy? Or do you want her to survive?"

Once again, Charles attempted to be the voice of reason. "It doesn't matter if it's me or if it's Jean. Neither one of us are able to penetrate her psychic defenses. I'm afraid she's on her own."

Logan stepped forward and muttered under his breath. "No, she's got the wolverine."

~oOo~

Rogue had lost track of how long she'd been fighting Carol Danvers. She'd seen her attack Logan, using Magneto's power against him and that one act was enough to push Rogue to the breaking point. It had been a year of trying to suppress the voices, running from what she'd done to Carol, afraid of facing the woman's fury. But now it had to end. She couldn't go on being a victim anymore. It was destroying her from the inside out. Rogue stilled herself and heard the wolverine's voice.

_She's close._

The words no sooner passed through her mind than Carol Danvers appeared at her side, throwing punches and pummeling Rogue backwards. The blonde woman paused a moment and smiled.

"You will not win, Rogue."

"Yeah, I will, Carol. See, I realized something. You're in _my_ body. _I_ am in control. Because of my guilt, I've allowed you to torture me for a year. I'm sorry for what happened but it was an accident. I won't let you punish me anymore. It stops now."

Rogue felt all of Carol's anger and the pain seared through her again. For a moment, she doubted if she could beat her.

_Use it._

Rogue stopped and opened herself up to the wolverine. She felt the strength; the fierce protectiveness and his instincts overcome her. She howled.

~oOo~

The Professor and Jean both grabbed the sides of their heads and doubled over from the psychic assault.

Scott, Hank and Logan looked from them to the still form of Rogue on the table. Logan could hear the machines beeping rapidly at Rogue's increased heart rate. His anxiousness rose immediately.

"What the fuck is goin' on?"

Jean's voice was strained. "They are fighting. Rogue is using every ounce of her mental abilities." She virtually whispered. "I had no idea she was this powerful."

In an instant, Logan was at Rogue's bedside. He leaned down so his lips were next to her ear. His arm draped across her shoulder and his large hand cupped the other side of her face.

"I'm here, darlin'. Finish this and come back to me."

~oOo~

_I'm here darlin'._

Rogue was reeling from Carol's latest assault when she heard his voice echo through her mind. Logan. She needed to get back to Logan. Another howl pierced the air, but this time, it was not from Rogue. The wolverine snapped and clawed its way toward Carol who began to frantically defend herself from the assault.

"We are one."

The words echoed through Rogue's mind and she used them to center herself, tapping into each essence residing inside of her. There did not need to be a separation between her and those she'd absorbed. She didn't need to hide from her power; the power was who she'd become. A giant sphere of pulsating energy wrapped itself around Rogue, enveloping her completely. With one thought, it exploded and Rogue could see Carol Danvers disappear; a look of resignation on her face.

At once, Rogue found herself alone, the voices silent and the pain gone. She had won.

~oOo~

Her eyes opened, squinting against the lights in the medical lab. Rogue felt Logan's hand on her cheek and his nose nestled against her neck. She turned her face and was no more than an inch from him, his lips tantalizingly close. The corner of her mouth turned up in a weak smile.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself, darlin'."

"I heard you. Inside my head."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks for being there."

"I'm never leaving you again, Rogue. Ever."

"The name's Marie."

He smiled and saw a light in her eyes that had been missing all this time. Despite everything she'd been through, she looked amazingly beautiful. Logan had gotten his second chance.

"I love you Marie."

She blinked. She blinked again.

"Huh, this isn't exactly where I pictured this exchange taking place."

"Well, I got the timin' of a one legged tap dancer, ya know."

"This is true." She brought her hand up and placed it over his. "I love you Logan."

~oOo~

From the corner of the room, Jean Grey watched Logan and Rogue's intimate moment. Their love and concern for each other washed over them in waves. She glanced over at Scott and picked up his intense feelings of sadness and jealousy. At one time, those men had looked at her with the same amount of admiration, lust and protectiveness they now focused on Rogue. Her shame over the way she'd treated Scott and been so cruel to Rogue rose up in her chest before she heard its voice. Despite the Professor's mental blocks, Jean could feel herself slipping away more and more each day as the entity grew more powerful inside her.

_You don't need any of them. You have me._

~oOo~

Rogue sat in one of the plush chairs that decorated Charles Xavier's office. Logan stood, leaning against a book lined wall, while the Professor sat behind his desk. Both men listened intently as Rogue spoke about her breakthrough.

"To put it bluntly, the wolverine brought me out."

Charles raised his eyebrows. "Interesting."

"It was the wolverine that suppressed the voices. All this time, he was the calm when the storm raged; my anchor. When Carol would begin her assaults, he was the one to focus and help me through it. "

The Professor smiled. "I suspected that was why you found refuge in the woods. Please, go on."

"Then, last night, when Carol was determined to take over, it was him by my side. He was the one giving me what I needed to finally take control."

She looked at Logan and smiled. "I didn't realize it until Logan came back to the mansion that I'd allowed my pain and anger at him to distance myself from what I really needed. Until I could give in to what I felt for him, which included what the wolverine inside me wanted, I wasn't going to survive."

"What would have happened if I didn't come back, Marie?"

She shook her head. "I don't honestly know. I would hope I could have figured it out on my own. But I think you being here was the catalyst to understanding how I could control my powers."

Logan despised thinking about what she'd gone through over the past year. The possibility of Carol overtaking her and Marie being lost forever made his blood run cold. He dismissed the thought as the professor asked another question.

"And what of the mental barriers we put in place?"

Rogue shrugged. "I guess never needed them. I'd spent so long believing that I had to be sheltered from my powers because they might hurt me or get out of control. But that was the wrong way to think about them. My mutation is a part of me. Therefore, the powers I absorb are a part of me as well. Carol was so strong because I killed her. I took in everything she was, not just a piece of her abilities. I'd never done that before and it frightened me. The feelings of taking someone else's life so overwhelmed me with guilt that her voice was my punishment for what I'd done. Once I came to terms with what had happened, I was able to find the strength to integrate all my powers together and silence them for good."

Charles leaned backwards and folded his hands together, elbows resting on the arms of his wheelchair. "You are quite a remarkable woman, Rogue. Here I was, convinced that I needed to help you overcome this issue and, in the end, you were able to do it all on your own. That's quite an accomplishment." He smiled. "Forgive me if I sound condescending, but I'm proud of you."

She smiled broadly. "Thank you, Professor. You did help, though. You were there to listen and support me the whole time."

"I'm just glad you're alright."

"Yeah, you and me both, Chuck." He crossed to Rogue's side and put his hand out for her. "Now, can we go? I think my girl needs somethin' to eat and a day off."

"I couldn't agree more, Logan. Enjoy yourselves."

Rogue took Logan's hand and he helped her to her feet, kissing the palm of her hand as she stood. They walked to the large wooden doors, and he stepped aside as the door swung inward. He followed her into the hallway and snaked his arm around her waist. Their bodies fit together like they were made for each other. They walked for a few moments before he broke the silence.

"You okay, darlin'?"

She stopped and turned to face him and felt his arms encircle her waist; his large hands spread across her back. Rogue put one hand on his chest and brought the other up to his cheek, tracing the line of his jaw before cupping her hand around the back of his neck.

"I've spent so much time trying to shut myself off from my emotions when all I ever wanted was this. Just to have you standing in front of me, looking down at me like you're doing now…I'm more than okay, Logan."

Rogue took another small step towards his big frame and it was enough to bring her body flush against his, her breasts pressed firmly to his chest. She heard his intake of breath as she pulled his head down towards hers. "You haven't kissed me yet, you know."

The rumble of his chest as he spoke ignited that long dormant fire inside of her. "I wanted to take it slow, Marie."

Her teeth nipped lightly at his lips and his fingers began to dig into her back, his arms tightening against her sides.

"It's been five _goddamn_ years, Logan. I think that's taking slow to a new level."

When he spoke her name it was somewhere between prayer and pleading. "Marie."

He wasn't going to hold back any more. No more teasing, no more verbal gymnastics. Their need for each other wasn't going to be put aside any longer. His mouth crashed into hers and she felt his tongue exploring her mouth, seeking, tasting and taking. It was everything she ever thought it could be. He was a study in contrasts. The strong hands that had wrought so much havoc on his enemies trailed their way up and down her back reverently and possessively. The mouth that howled with anger and frightened others with its ferocity was gentle yet firm as it moved along her jawline, licking and kissing until he found his way to the crook of her neck.

The shift of her hip against his center made him growl into her ear. "Darlin', you're drivin' me fuckin' insane."

She was full on panting now. "I think I'm way past the edge of insane, Logan."

Both of their faces were red and flushed, their mutual arousal evident to each other's heightened senses of smell. Logan looked into her eyes and saw there the same love and passion she saw in his.

"You'd better be sure you want this, Marie. Cause once we go there, you're mine." Her entire body shuddered as his hot breath coated her ear. "You're all mine."

Her hand wound its way down his chest to the space just above his belt buckle. She grabbed the front of his pants and pulled him to her. "You're damn right I am. Take me to bed, cowboy."

"Fuckin' hell yeah."

He grinned wildly, stepped back, and in one fluid motion, took her by the hips and flung her over his shoulder. She laughed and grabbed his firm ass as he bounded down the stairway and rounded the corner to his room.

"Make sure to turn the stereo up real loud, Logan. We wouldn't want to scare the children."

He practically shoved the door open. Kicking it shut with one foot, he deposited Rogue on his bed, the right side of his mouth rising up in a wicked smirk.

"Nah, we wouldn't want that."

~oOo~


	7. Chapter 7

~oOo~

Logan watched as Marie slept, looking so peaceful and beautiful with the sun streaming through the window blinds. He stroked her hair, inhaling the aroma of her flowery shampoo. She was even more incredible than he'd remembered her to be. The guilt of leaving her for five years began to creep into his chest and he pushed it back down, knowing that he couldn't dwell on the shit he'd done wrong. He was simply going to do whatever it took to keep Marie safe and love her as completely as he did now.

She stirred and turned on her side, nestling her naked form into his chest, her arm wrapping around his side and her knee pushing in between his legs. Good God, just her body next to his made his brain pack its bags and move out. He ran his hand over her shoulder and felt her shiver against his touch. He didn't intend to wake her up but he wasn't going to complain if she did.

Watching the rise and fall of her steady breathing, he felt the familiar constriction in his chest. The sensation of love and contentment wasn't alien to him. But, with Marie, it wasn't just love. It wasn't simply feeling an attraction or connection with another person. Being with her was like finding another part of him. When he was away for those years, he'd thought about her. Wanted to call her, hear her voice. In the last twelve months, there'd been an almost physical pull to come back to her. He'd always felt she was special, even at her young age. There was something about Marie, an innate strength that called to him. But it wasn't until he'd stood in the window of Xavier's office and looked down on her face that he'd understood why. Marie wasn't just a woman, she was a strong, feral woman. His equal. She possessed his physical powers and, most importantly, the wolverine was a part of her. They had a connection that could not be broken by anything other than death.

"And even then, I don't think I could let you go."

The whispered words drifted out and mingled with the flecks of dust lazily floating in the room's afternoon light. Logan put his head down, tucking her forehead under his chin and closed his eyes, succumbing to the first dreamless sleep he'd had in five years.

~oOo~

Rogue rolled onto her right side and pulled the blanket up under her chin. It took her a brief moment of disorientation before she realized where she was. She smiled. Her eyes opened and looked around Logan's room, the fading sunlight casting a warm orange glow in the space. Their clothes were littered around the room and she laughed when she saw her shredded pants thrown over the corner chair.

Turning on her back, she discovered that she was alone in the bed. Listening for a brief few seconds, Marie knew Logan wasn't in his bathroom either. She stretched her arms and legs like a cat waking from a long nap. Hell, that's pretty much how she felt. Rested, sated and…pretty freaking hungry. But she wasn't ready to hop out of bed just yet – even if she did have pants, the feeling of being naked and entwined in Logan's sheets made her hot all over again.

The memory of Logan's touch was seared into her mind. The way his hands were everywhere at once, his tongue tasting her, taunting her and, ultimately, pushing her over the edge. It was the most amazing lovemaking she'd ever experienced. Not that she was very proficient in that area. She'd been slightly intimidated that she wouldn't be what Logan wanted but he didn't seem to have any problems with what she did to him earlier in the day.

The side of her mouth rose as she recalled seeing him without his clothes for the first time. She'd imagined him naked before. Hell, most of the women in the mansion had imagined him naked at some point. Marie had seen his bare chest enough times to know he was amazingly built but seeing him stripped bare, engorged and ready for her had rendered her speechless. Her reaction to seeing him standing before her had only inflamed him more. The stars she'd seen when he drove her to climax over and over were much, much better than the ones she'd seen after taking a hit in the danger room. She wondered how they were ever going to get out of bed again.

Sitting up, Marie was in the process of strategizing how to get through the hallways to her room without her pants when the door handle turned. Logan quietly opened the door and stepped into the room fully expecting to see Marie still asleep. He was greeted with the sight of her half lidded eyes and her full, naked breasts.

"Fuckin' hell, woman. It should be against the law for you to put on clothes."

"I could say the same about you."

She spotted the tray of food Logan was carrying and her stomach audibly growled.

"Now get over here with my dinner. Then take off those pants."

Logan grinned. "I like the way you think, darlin'."

~oOo~

"You're gonna be the death of me, Marie."

"Me? What about you? I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to walk straight for a week."

"Didn't hear you complainin'."

"Well, a woman can't exactly protest when you make her feel like that, sugar."

He chuckled lightly and pulled her to his chest. Her leg draped across his center and she felt him twitch in response to her touch.

"You know, with everything that's happened since you came back, the one thing we haven't done is talk about why you left."

"Jesus, get right to the point, don't you, gal?"

Rogue rose up on her elbow, her face close enough to feel the heat radiating from his skin.

"We said that we would put all our cards on the table. You know my shit. The only real things I know about your past are from when I touched you all those years ago. And those are just nightmare images."

"Sorry you had to be saddled with that, Marie."

"Eh, don't sweat it. I've got it all under control now, remember?" She kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Don't try and dodge the question, Logan. What did the Professor uncover that made you bolt for five years?"

He let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes. Flashes of the long sought after memories streamed through his head.

"Everythin'. He unlocked everythin' I'd ever done. Everyone I'd ever been. There were times in my life I did good things. Made noble choices…." He took a moment and slowly sat up, draping his arms over his bent knees. "But there were more times than I want to remember that I was a murderin' bastard. I killed people, Marie. A lot of people. And rememberin' all that just pushed me too far. I couldn't be here…around a group that wanted to help others…around you…when I'd been such a rotten son of a bitch."

"Logan, you're not. That's not the man you are."

"Maybe not anymore…but it was. And that's what I had to deal with. I spent those five years going around to the places I could remember, tryin' to make things right. Even if it was helpin' someone for a while on their farm or doin' some other odd job. I just needed to clear my head and make it right as much as I could."

He turned and looked Rogue in the eyes. "I couldn't come back to you without tryin' to do the right thing. You deserve better."

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her face in his neck.

"You never have to prove yourself to me, Logan. I love you just the way you are."

"Thanks, Marie."

They sat for a moment and then Logan leaned back so they could lie on the bed, their naked bodies entwined, both of them finally at peace.

"I never thought it could be this way, Logan."

"What way?"

"It's just…this feeling. Like I'm complete and I never realized until today I wasn't a whole person. I have this stirring feeling in my chest. Like I'm nervous and excited and completely terrified all at the same time."

"You scared, baby?"

"Scared isn't the right word. It's like I love you so much I don't want to imagine you not with me anymore."

"I told you, I ain't gonna leave…"

"No, no, it's not that." Marie paused and took a moment to run her fingers through the soft hairs on his chest. His eyes were dark as they searched hers. "I want to crawl inside of you and never come out. You said this morning that if we crossed that threshold that I'd be yours. Well, you belong to me as much as I belong to you and I'm never going to give that up without a fight."

He stroked her cheek and then leaned forward and rolled her onto her back. Logan brought his mouth to hers and where there was fire and passion earlier, now their embrace was slow and tender.

"I never wanted to rush you, Marie. But I've felt that for you since I came back here. You are fuckin' everythin' to me. I ain't a slick talker like Scott and I sure as hell ain't a brain like Hank. This…you and me right now…that's how I can show you how much I love you. There will never be anythin' to fight because you won't ever have to give me up. You got that?"

Logan took his finger and wiped away the tears falling down the sides of her face.

"I love you, Logan."

"I love you too, Marie."

~oOo~

The night had been full of talking, sleep and a lot of sex. They'd woken up the next day with renewed energy. Marie had managed to make Logan go to her room and get her a new pair of pants so she wouldn't shock the kids. They sat for a few moments before venturing outside of Logan's room for the first time in twenty four hours.

Logan stood at the door but before his hand grabbed the handle, he turned to Marie.

"Move in here."

She looked into his eyes, the seriousness quite evident in his face.

"You sure, Logan?"

He stepped in front of her and his hands rose up and touched the sides of her cheeks.

"You're mine, now, remember?" He smiled broadly and winked. "So…make this our room."

"Yeah but your room smells like cigars and sweat."

"Seemed to be plenty satisfactory last night."

"Well, in the right context cigars and sweat can be a total turn on…but my room is bigger and it's got a great view of the lake."

"Which means the kids are right outside the window. We're in the back of the place here."

"Mine has room for a king bed, Logan."

"Sold."

"Glad that's settled. Now get me something to eat. I'm in need of sustenance."

"You and me both, darlin'."

They walked into the dining area and saw that most of the kids had already come and gone. Only some of the staff remained including Ororo, Piotr and Scott. She saw the three of them at a table and, as she and Logan approached, Scott looked up and the half smile he'd had on his face disappeared immediately upon catching her eye. Her heart sank and she felt the immense weight of guilt over hurting one of the closest friends she had. Rogue smiled at him and he did his best to return the favor, but she could tell it was forced at best. She sighed, hoping that in time he would get used to the idea of them being just friends and that, maybe, he would be able to find someone to love again.

"C'mon darlin'. Let's eat before Colossus comes back for thirds."

Rogue smiled and nodded, taking comfort in the fact that today was the first day in a very long time she'd been truly happy. A new day and a new beginning.

~oOo~

Jean stood in the doorway and watched as Rogue and Logan sat down and ate breakfast. She remembered a time when Scott and she used to look at each other with such love and her chest ached as her eyes were drawn to Scott's handsome face. Nothing in her life was what she wanted it to be. Ever since the entity that called itself the Phoenix had become stronger and begun taking over her personality, everything had spun out of control. The way the Phoenix had ruined her life through suppressing Jean's true personality had driven away everyone she loved…including Scott.

When she thought about everything she'd done, it was as if Jean was looking down, watching as someone else controlled her actions. Being cruel to Rogue, throwing herself at Logan, pushing Scott away…it was all the Phoenix. Jean knew her control was being overthrown and that she was rapidly losing herself to the Phoenix. She was desperate to find a way to control it before it was too late.

The Professor was one of the strongest telepaths in the world and even his immense abilities weren't enough to help Jean defeat the power inside her. After seeing Rogue's display of her own power against her inner voices, Jean began to hope that there might be some way Rogue could help her. But every time the genesis of a plan began to take shape in her mind, Jean was thwarted by the Phoenix. She was becoming so tired, so eager to have peace again that fighting this…creature…was taking more of a toll than she could bear. Jean suspected that very soon, she would be lost forever. Unless…maybe…Rogue could be powerful enough for the both of them.

~oOo~


	8. Chapter 8

~oOo~

In the week following Rogue's breakthrough, her life had taken on a new level of normalcy. She and Logan had developed a strong routine and she loved being able to teach the children without fear of some kind of incident. Rogue was honestly more content than she'd felt since childhood. Living with Logan wasn't always easy but being with him was the most natural thing in the world. They were two parts of a whole. When they weren't with each other, it felt as if something in her was lacking. As if she were off balance and the only thing to right her was Logan's presence.

Rogue stood in the shower, the too hot water cascading down her body, her hands resting on either side of the shower walls. She willed herself to believe that the sense of foreboding and danger that had gnawed at her all morning had just been the fact that Logan had been gone overnight on an orienteering field trip with some of the students. Maybe his absence from her was made more powerful now that they were, in effect, mates.

She chuckled to herself at the thought of herself as some animal. It sounded so absurd. But the plain fact was that they were bonded as feral beings, not just as Logan and Marie.

"Maybe I should get us dog collars for Christmas." She muttered.

Rogue turned around in the shower and felt the heat of the water slide down her back, her arms crossed in front of her. She'd had the ability to sense an oncoming threat ever since she'd absorbed Carol Danvers, but the power had never been fully accessible to her due to all the chaos in her mind. Now, however, she could feel it clearly. It was if an ice pack had been placed on the back of her neck. Despite the water temperature, she was cold and her body was tense.

Surrendering to the fact that the shower was doing nothing to take away the sensation of dread, she stepped out of the stall and got dressed. As soon as she'd finished drying her hair, the familiar voice of Charles Xavier echoed through her head.

"All senior members of the X-Men are to report to the war room immediately."

She hated it when she was right.

~oOo~

Rogue, Ororo, Scott, Jean and Hank stood in front of the Professor as he spoke, pointing to the display screen behind him.

"Just a few minutes ago, I received a transmission that one of our distress signals had been activated."

The map flashed and zeroed in on a small red dot blinking its way slowly across the map.

"California. Who do we have in California?" Scott thought for a moment before his head snapped up and caught Charles' eye.

"It's Jubilee's."

Rogue's arms went to her sides and her jaw slammed shut; her teeth ground together and the muscles in her face flexed. Scott asked the question before Rogue had the chance.

"Where are they going?"

"All I can ascertain is that she is in a helicopter flying toward the Nevada border. There are several abandoned military installations that the vehicle could be headed for. All we can do is wait and see where she is being taken."

"Why the hell do they want _her_?" Rogue's anger was palpable.

Hank responded. "She may not have been targeted but simply at the wrong place that wrong time. We've had reports of mutants going missing for a few months now. I believe that the military may be abducting them for cure experimentation. Although why they would take Jubilee is beyond my understanding. She is a Stanford University student and it would be noticed that she was missing." He paused, his eyes widening. "Unless…"

"Unless what, Hank?" Rogue wanted answers. She wanted them right fucking now.

"It's possible she was taken because of her genetic research. Did she mention anything about an internship or possibly a fellowship program?"

Rogue's heart sank. "When I talked to her last, she said she would see me when finals were done. But she did email me a few days ago and said some bigwigs were interested in her work and might be calling her. That was the last I heard."

"Well, it is obvious she knows she is in danger otherwise she wouldn't have activated her signal. I am tracking the helicopter should her device become inactive so we will know where they land. Jean, Scott, Ororo, Hank and Colossus should be prepared to depart in one hour."

"I'm going, Professor."

"Rogue, I'm not sure it's the best time…"

She was not about to let them leave her out of this mission. Marie wasn't going to sit in the mansion wringing her hands and pacing the floor while the team rescued her best friend.

"Look, Charles, I'm fine. I'm more than fine. There is no reason for me not to go on this operation."

To everyone's surprise, Jean took up Rogue's defense. "Professor, I don't see any reason Rogue shouldn't be on this assignment. By her own admission, she feels ready and stable enough to be a part of the team again."

Rogue looked at Jean. The telepath appeared startlingly calm and composed, a contrast to the tension normally evident on her face in recent times. Just before Rogue spoke, she saw and felt Jean's demeanor change as if a switch had been flipped. The softness in her eyes disappeared and was replaced by that same, familiar rigidity. Once again, the sensation of dread crept up her spine. Nevertheless, Rogue wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Yeah…thanks, Jean."

"Alright, then. The Blackbird can pick up Logan on the way."

"Charles, Logan and I are together but he's not my babysitter. I ran more than my share of missions before he returned."

"That you did, my dear. Then I believe our team has already been assembled."

The X-Men acknowledged his decision and the Professor watched as they departed the war room, knowing that he would be on the receiving end of an earful when Logan returned. It wouldn't be a bad idea to make sure the Danger Room was available.

~oOo~

They were assembled in the Blackbird an hour later, listening intently as Scott and the Professor, via the onboard video screen, briefed them on the mission. Charles' face was strained as he relayed what he'd discovered.

"We have traced the helicopter to a small outpost in the Sierra Nevada mountains. From what we can tell, it is the remains of a military compound used in the 1950's. I can only assume that we're looking at a…research laboratory. Unfortunately, I cannot ascertain how many other mutants might be present. They may be underground with a dampening field surrounding the facility."

Bile rose in Rogue's throat at the thought of Jubilee being subjected to such cruelty. Her own torture at the hands of Magneto was bad enough; she shuddered to think what might go on in a place outfitted solely for mutant experimentation.

Scott started outlining their rescue plan. Rogue listened intently, her hands opening and closing as a way to release the pent up tension in her body.

_Help me._

The telepathic message reverberated in Rogue's head as loudly as Scott speaking just a few feet away. She'd know that voice in her head anywhere. Jean. Rogue looked over at the redhead only to be met with the telepath's unnatural gaze. They were the same black eyes that had bored into her that day in the med lab.

"Let's head out, people."

Rogue's concentration was broken by Scott's voice and when she turned back to Jean, the woman was already at the helm of the jet, prepping it for takeoff. The question rang in her mind as loudly as Jean's voice; why was she asking Rogue for help? Jean had treated Rogue, as well as Scott and many others, so egregiously over the past year. A cry for help from Jean seemed completely out of character. But, then again, Jean's personality shift seemed bizarre to everyone as well. As they moved about the Blackbird, getting ready to launch, Rogue continued to mull over the situation in her head. It was Jean's eyes that disturbed Rogue. She'd seen Jean use her powers too many times to count and she never remembered seeing a physical change in the woman before.

"You okay, Rogue?"

Scott's deep voice broke Rogue from her thoughts and she smiled, pushing her reservations to the back of her mind.

"Yep. Just want to go be a big damn hero."

"You've always been a big damn hero to me."

"Thanks, Scott."

As she felt the Blackbird ascend into the sky that foreboding sense of danger coursed through her. It was the same feeling Rogue had before the mission in which she'd taken Carol Danvers life. She hoped this time her sixth sense would be proven wrong.

~oOo~

Logan tossed his backpack on the patio and gestured to the ten kids straggling in behind him.

"Just put your packs here, guys. Get somethin' to eat and then get this sh...stuff cleaned up. I don't want to be on the receivin' end of the housekeeper's wrath again."

"Mr. Logan, I think my legs might explode." The lanky boy with red hair practically stumbled past Logan as he dumped his muddy backpack onto the ground.

"You're 15, kid, your body is made to bounce back. Collapse, maybe, but explode…nah."

The young man tried to force a smile, but the exhaustion won over and he limped into the house. Logan laughed softly and headed inside where he grabbed one of the treasured Molson's from his spot in the staff refrigerator. They'd returned a few hours later than he'd planned thanks to the lack of endurance from some…well, most…of the kids. All he wanted right now was a shower and Marie. And not necessarily in that order.

He took a deep swig of his beer when he saw Charles coming down the hallway in his wheelchair.

"Logan, may I speak with you?"

"Chuck, I'd love to, but after twenty four hours in the woods with those kids, all I want is a hot shower and to see Marie. How about in an hour?"

Just as Logan was about to pass by, the elder man's voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Rogue is not here, Logan. She's on a mission."

He practically choked on the liquid in his throat.

"She's _what_?"

"Late this morning, we received a signal that Jubilee had activated her distress signal. Rogue, Jean, Scott, Hank and Ororo left earlier this afternoon to rescue her."

"Are you fuckin' _serious_ , Chuck? She just came out of this shit with Danvers and you decide it's a good idea to send her on the first mission she's had in a year? _Goddamn_ , it."

"I had the same thoughts as you, Logan. But she's more than capable. You must remember that you've never seen her in any sort of battle that wasn't engineered in the Danger Room. Before Carol, she was a highly effective team member. You may not realize this, but her powers are immense. They were before her altercation with Miss Danvers and since she's been able to integrate them, Rogue may now even be one of the most powerful mutants on the planet."

Scott's words echoed through Logan's mind. _She was like a surgeon in battle_. Logan moved to the dark, wooden wall and leaned against the cool, firm surface. Instinctively, he knew Charles was right. She was an amazing fighter and was more than skilled enough to handle herself in a fight. But he didn't like the idea of his woman out there in a situation where he couldn't watch her back. He couldn't handle it if he lost her again.

"I still don't like it, Chuck."

"Is that the X-Man talking…or the man who loves Marie talking?"

He sighed. "A little of both but probably more of the last."

"I understand, Logan."

"Where are they?"

"An installation in the Sierra Nevada's. I don't expect it will be too difficult. They've done these types of rescue operations before. I would imagine they should be checking in any time now."

"Fine. I'm trustin' you. You hear anythin', I'll be in the Danger Room."

Charles pointed to his temple. "I'll contact you immediately."

Logan turned and made his way to the stairs and down towards the Danger Room where he fully intended to spend the next several hours destroying and disemboweling anything and everything in his path.

Charles watched as the large man disappeared around the corner. He prayed silently that Rogue would come back safely. Because if she didn't, he had no doubt Logan would be utterly destroyed.

~oOo~

The complex was small and rather unassuming except for the extensive network of protective fencing and security cameras around the perimeter. Still, if one didn't know what the facility was used for, it could be mistaken for just another army station. But it wasn't just another random military building, they knew exactly what was going on inside and the people behind those walls probably did not have much time.

"So we ready to start the smash and grab, fearless leader?" Rogue was anxious to get moving, not wanting to think about Jubilee hooked up to devices and being poked and dissected like a lab rat.

"We do have a plan, Rogue."

"Yes, the plan. The plan to get in there and get everyone out."

Scott nodded to Storm. Her eyes glazed over and the team smelled the ozone in the air. In only a few moments, flashes of lightning streaked in front of the building, striking the protruding metal on the rooftop. Scott's hand went to his visor and the red beam from his goggles struck precisely at the small transformer box secured next to the structure.

"That should disable most of their electronics. I'll take out the cameras as we go. Jean, see what you can do about stunning any guards along the way. I don't really want to make this any more complicated than it needs to be." Scott nodded his head signaling their assault. "Let's move."

Rogue progressed through the facility as efficiently as ever. Adrenaline flowed through her and as she continued to dispatch guards, the exhilaration at being able to control and focus her powers made her almost giddy.

She giggled.

"Rogue…"

Hank bounded past her and grabbed the gun of an oncoming soldier, flipping it out of his hand and cold cocking the man with a roundhouse kick to the face.

"Did you just _giggle_?"

She smiled broadly. "God, Hank I forgot how much _fun_ this is."

"I have quite a different definition of fun, dear. But, I suppose I should be glad you are…enjoying yourself." He turned to Ororo and waved his large, furry hand. "Storm, the computer systems are down this way. We will continue down to the labs and meet you at the rendezvous."

The team split off from Ororo and only a few short minutes later they'd reached the doors of the main research facility. Rogue took a breath as Scott blasted through the door. Upon entering, they were met with the stereotypical medical facility. Stark metal patient tables stood in the middle of the room, surrounded by bright lights and large stacks of medical equipment. The vials of liquid on the side of the room were reminiscent of something out of Frankenstein's lab. Rogue twisted around and saw approximately twenty cells, most of them filled with mutants. Jubilee…where was Jubilee?

Rogue heard the click of guns as the guards moved around the room, positioning themselves in front of the medical staff.

Scott took a step forward and prepared to speak when the entire group of soldiers and lab personnel fell to the ground unconscious. He turned and caught Jean's eye.

"I had a nice speech prepared, Jean."

The faintest of smiles flickered across her face and his chest tightened, remembering how close they used to be. How easy their banter and friendship once came to them.

"I'm sure it would have been very impressive. But someone here is in pain, we need to move."

The four of them spread out, Scott locating and opening the cell doors while Hank moved through the rooms, checking the victims for injuries. Rogue was desperately looking for Jubilee, wondering if something had gone wrong, maybe they'd taken her to another facility or worse…

"She's here."

Hank's voice snapped Rogue from her panicked thoughts and she ran to the doctor's side. As soon as she approached the cell the metallic scent of blood assaulted her nose. When she saw Jubilee's small form on the cot in the corner, she had to concentrate to suppress the anger coursing through her. Rogue had seen Logan in a berserker rage before and she could feel all the telltale signs of the uncontrollable frenzy breaking through her defenses.

"Hank. How bad?"

For someone of his size, Hank was amazingly gentle. He opened Jubilee's eyes, felt her head and took her pulse. Rogue could hear Jubilee's steady heartbeat but the smell of her best friend's blood was clouding her ability to focus on anything but her pain.

"She will be fine. Obvious contusions and some lacerations. I will conduct a more thorough exam at the mansion to ensure she has no internal injuries."

The dark eyes of Jubilation Lee slowly opened and came to rest on Beast's face.

"I never thought I'd be so happy to see you, Big Blue."

"The feeling is quite mutual, Jubilation. What happened?"

"Oh, well, these government types don't seem to like the word 'no.'" She began to shift and attempted to sit up, taking Hank's arm for support.

"I have a feeling you might not have been using your best manners, my dear."

Jubilee grimaced as she let out a small chuckle. "You don't think 'fuck you and the lame ass donkey you rode in on' was good manners, Hank?"

The doctor's roar of laughter brought Rogue back from the edge of losing control. She moved to her friend and carefully put her arms around Jubilee's shoulders.

"Jubes, this is not what I wanted to be doing on my weekend off."

"Sorry chica. I'll buy you a new purse."

Rogue hugged Jubilee as tightly as she could, being mindful of both her friend's injuries and Rogue's own increased strength.

"I'm just glad you're okay."

"Me too, redneck. Me too."

~oOo~

Storm met back up with the team on the main floor of the facility. She'd managed to download the operation data, hoping the Professor would be able not only to find out more specifics on what the government was doing but to use it as leverage in their own fight for mutant rights.

There had been twelve other mutants taken besides Jubilee. They were a combination of runaways, drifters and a few older men and women that had been picked up as extra laboratory fodder. Jubilee had been targeted for her work in genetics. The government had taken notice of her research and wanted to use her knowledge for their experiments. They'd been less than pleased when Jubilee put up such staunch resistance and had used her subsequent beating as a demonstration of what would happen if any of the other mutants thought about doing the same thing.

"Those assholes. I'm sort of pissed we didn't kill everyone in here."

Scott smirked. "Try being the fearless leader. I have to set a good example…if I didn't, I'd blast this place to kingdom come." He stepped to the main exit and gestured to the others. "Let's get home. The beers are on me."

He opened the door and the roar of engines assaulted their ears. Just outside the fence line were three military helicopters and at least sixty armed troops on the ground.

Not good odds.

Scott began to give orders but was interrupted when Jean stepped forward and moved directly in front of the team. She neither spoke nor looked at anyone as she walked out the front door and stood fifteen feet from the building.

Remembering her earlier self-comparison to a dog, every fiber of Rogue's being went on instant alert; as if her hackles were rising. The sensation she'd felt in the shower that morning magnified one hundred fold and Rogue stood as the realization washed over her.

"Oh _shit_."

Despite the noise, Scott heard Rogue's words. "Rogue. What the hell is going on?"

They watched as Jean's arms rose out and away from her sides, her palms facing the sky. She glided effortlessly into the air as her body began to ripple with energy.

Hank's voice was pure panic. "She's going to attack them. Scott…."

As much as he was an excellent field leader and able to guide the X-Men through all manner of tense and life threatening situations, he absolutely did not know what to do next. Rogue took charge.

"We have to stop her. She's…she's not Jean."

"What? Of course…."

"Scott, I've had this feeling for weeks now. You know damn well better than I do that she's changed. It's just like me. Her power is overtaking her and she's not strong enough to fight it. I've seen it in her eyes twice. She's shut Charles out of her mind for months now!" Rogue was yelling, trying to get her point across so that Scott would see the truth. "Scott, _look_ at her! Have you ever seen her like this?"

She put her hands on his shoulders. "Scott, shoot." His head whipped around to face Rogue, his expression filled with anger and confusion. "In the leg…the arm…just distract her so we can talk her down."

No more discussion was needed and he turned in Jean's direction, his hand moving to his visor. It was a moment's hesitation, but enough to get Rogue to yell at him to hurry. In an instant, the beam of energy was hurtling towards Jean, but just as it should have struck the back of her leg, it stopped inches away from her skin. Jean's head turned to the side and she smiled, her voice loud, firm and definitely…un-Jean like.

"Naughty, Scott. I've got work to do."

Seeing the blast stop short of its target was enough for the soldiers to panic and raise their weapons, aiming them squarely at Jean. Her arms moved higher and her body followed, taking her ten more feet into the sky. The fence began to shake and, to Rogue's astonishment, simply evaporated. It looked like a fuse being lit, the metal disappeared and small flakes of silver floating through the air were the only sign anything had been there. The commanding officer took this as a sign of hostility and Rogue heard the order echo over the whirling helicopter blades.

"OPEN FIRE!"

The bullets were coming so fast that Rogue had only a nanosecond to react. She ran forward, extending her arm in front of her, summoning Magneto's power and stalling the ammunition in its tracks. Rogue stopped, under and to the left of where Jean still hovered in the air.

_Stop her._

Jean's voice rang through Rogue's head as loudly as it had earlier in the Blackbird. Rogue looked up and saw the black veins crisscrossing Jean's cheeks and neck. The whisper of a smile crossed the Jean-thing's face and, in front of them, the bullets exploded. What happened next was burned into Rogue's memory.

One of the soldiers began to scream and, just like the metal fence, his body evaporated. The other men took notice immediately. Some began to open fire; others started to run for the cover of the helicopters.

But Rogue knew there was nothing they could do to protect themselves, and in that instant, she knew what had to be done. Rogue turned to look at Scott. She smiled and could tell by his furrowed brow that he didn't quite comprehend what was going to happen next. But Jubilee did. Her best friend moved to the team leader's side and took his hand. Suddenly, Scott realized what Rogue was determined to do. His head moved wildly back and forth and he stepped forward, only to be physically restrained by Hank.

Rogue blew Jubilee a kiss, winked and rocketed upwards. The thought crossed Rogue's mind that if she survived the next few minutes, Logan was probably going to kill her.

~oOo~


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you for the kudos and comments. It makes me so happy to see you like it. Enjoy!

~oOo~

Rogue slammed into Jean's body from the back and wrapped her arms around Jean's waist, snaking her hands upward and grasping firmly on either side of her neck. Rogue opened up her mutation and, like a tidal wave, Jean's essence flowed into her. The sensations were overwhelming and chaotic; relief, anger, fear, passion, rage, peace, jealousy. Rogue instantly understood that Jean had been dealing with the same bedlam in her mind that Rogue had been struggling with for the past year. But the Phoenix wasn't simply a manifestation of Jean's power; it was a separate entity. Something foreign and deadly. Something that wanted to dominate and control.

Rogue and Jean rose upward into the sky in a perverse imitation of a rodeo cowboy trying to hang on to a bucking bronco. Jean's body twisted and writhed under Rogue's hold and while Rogue lost contact from one of her hands for only the briefest moment, her other hand remained firmly in place. She could feel Jean's weakening psyche and Rogue knew she only had maybe twenty more seconds before Jean would be dead.

The Phoenix ripped through Rogue's mind like a firestorm, raging against her more intensely than anything Rogue had felt before. It was furious at being taken from its host, knowing that it would not be able to overtake Rogue as completely has it had done to Jean.

Rogue shut down her connection, knowing she had gone as far as she could to absorb the Phoenix. As Jean slipped into unconsciousness, her once close friend smiled weakly at Rogue. Her words sounded as soft and frail as the redhead looked.

"Thank you."

Jean's eyes closed and Rogue fought to hold on to the doctor's limp body as the Phoenix continued railing against her mind. The invader stampeded through Rogue's consciousness, trying every method it could to gain control physically and mentally over Rogue.

Rogue began to descend to the ground, hoping to deposit Jean safely before she continued to wrestle with the being as it struggling for supremacy. She made it fifty feet off the ground when her head was assaulted with images of fire. The heat inside Rogue's body was almost as intense as if she'd been placed in an actual furnace. Rogue's hands flew to the sides of her head and Jean Grey plummeted downward.

~oOo~

The last time Scott felt this helpless, he watched as the woman he planned to marry committed suicide in order to save the lives of the people she most cared about in the world. The memories flashed before him as real and as visceral as they were that afternoon at Alkali Lake.

_Scott running to the exit ramp only to see the door shut in his face._

_"No! We're not leaving! Lower the ramp!"_

_Knowing Jean was out there, preparing to die. Hearing her words in the voice of Charles Xavier, telling him that it was the only way to save them all._

_"I know what I'm doing. This is the only way. Goodbye."_

Here he was, watching as another woman he loved sacrificed herself for the well-being of every one of the people standing on the ground. They all watched as the two women fought in the air, twisting and falling as Rogue attempted to draw Jean's powers from her as if she were drawing poison from a wound.

Suddenly, the fighting stopped and Rogue appeared to be descending with an unconscious Jean in her arms. Rogue unexpectedly cried out and let go of Jean; the telepath's unconscious form tumbled toward the earth. He ran toward where Jean began to fall, stupidly thinking he could catch her safely, when a small voice yelled out from behind where he stood.

"I've got her!"

One of the young women who'd been captured reached out her hands and shoved them upwards in Jean's direction, as if performing a show stopping magic trick. Jean's body became enveloped in what appeared to be a large bubble of energy. The petite blonde lowered the sphere and gently deposited the doctor's body onto the ground. Hank and Storm moved to her side immediately.

Jubilee turned to the girl and grinned. "That was pretty awesome, dude."

The blonde's fair cheeks turned crimson at the compliment and she smiled shyly. "Thanks."

Rogue's best friend looked up in the sky only to see Rogue engaged in a battle taking place inside the woman's mind. Jubilee watched as Rogue's form diminished into the sky as she rose ever higher, fighting whatever…or whoever she'd just absorbed from Jean Grey. Jubilee stepped next to Scott and, once again, offered whatever comfort she could.

"She's going into the atmosphere, Jubilee."

"I know, Scott."

"What the fuck just happened?"

"Only Jean can tell us. Until then…we wait."

He whipped around, looking down at the diminutive Asian woman, angry that she was suggesting abandoning Rogue in her most desperate hour.

"We can't just leave her out there! We have to do something! Follow her, _find_ her!"

"Scott, what do you want to _do_? Track her in the jet and hope that she doesn't kill anyone in it? Have Storm try and bring her down here? What if Rogue isn't able to control whatever this is and it kills _both_ of them?"

"But…"

"Scott, I'm just as scared as you. I'm fucking terrified that I'm going to lose her. But she did this for a reason. She's got brass ones, man, and we have to let her be the big damn hero she is."

Scott wanted to find some sort of solace in hearing the same phrase Rogue had used with him on the Blackbird just before the mission. He'd told her she'd always been a hero to him and, the truth is, he'd always admired her strength and grace under pressure. It was those qualities that were so attractive to him. Scott looked into the sky and saw Rogue's form disappear just as quickly as Jean had been swallowed up by the rushing waters of Alkali Lake. The team leader's shoulders slumped and he felt his chest tighten with the all too familiar sensation of utter and complete loss.

"I don't want to lose her Jubilee."

"She's strong, Scott. Stronger than any of us know. She's coming back." Her small hand found his once again. "She has to…we've got a date with the mall." Jubilee squeezed his fingers and patted him on the shoulder with her other hand.

"I'll go see to Jean and you go talk to the G.I. Joes over there."

Jubilee watched as Scott walked toward the squad commander then took a moment to glance into the now empty sky.

"Get your ass back here, Rogue. I don't want to have to tell Logan you're gone."

~oOo~

The fire seared through Rogue's mind and body. She heard its voice as clear as Carol Danvers. It loved fear, fed on the idea of taking over another being, letting the power go free and consuming everything and everyone in its wake.

_I will destroy you._

Rogue pushed the voice aside by slamming her mental barriers and Rogue felt it scream in protest. Jean was an incredibly powerful telepath. For her to lose the ability to control this thing meant that it had a level of power even Charles Xavier could not comprehend. Jean's memories flowed through her as readily as her power and Rogue could feel the anguish at not being able to control her actions. Rogue saw Jean struggle to cry for help only to be shut down by the Phoenix, her impotency mocked and ridiculed by the foreign presence. It knew Jean was afraid and that she would do anything to protect the ones she loved. It exploited that knowledge by suppressing Jean's personality and overtaking her day to day life. It couldn't push Jean's personality out entirely but it had wanted Jean's life utterly destroyed.

Rogue wasn't about to let the bitch have that satisfaction.

She sped upwards into the sky, watching as Earth became smaller and the atmosphere more claustrophobic due to the lack of oxygen. The heat intensified and Rogue didn't think it was out of the realm of possibility that she might literally be consumed by flame any moment. She heard the familiar cadence of the wolverine as he encouraged Rogue onward, giving her the stamina to fight the invader in her mind.

She was almost to the stratosphere and Rogue knew that it was time to take the next step. Either she would be able to claim victory over the Phoenix or it would consume her and extinguish everything in its path. Closing her eyes, she tapped into the power rather than pushing to subdue it. Energy coursed through her and the force of the fire increased exponentially. Rogue could feel the flames lick her skin and she could sense the Phoenix's satisfaction, believing it was winning.

"You have no idea who you're dealing with, asshole." Rogue sneered, her voice as deep and low as the wolverine's.

Her arms spread out from her torso and she concentrated on the Phoenix's energy and power. Rogue centered herself and felt the rush of the oncoming explosion. The Phoenix's terrified shrieks of panic and fury reverberated through Rogue's mind. She felt the entirety of the Phoenix's emotions; pain, pleasure, selfishness and, most importantly, fear. Then her world erupted in a brilliant flash of white and orange light.

She managed to say one word before the darkness enveloped her.

"Logan."

~oOo~

He stopped, his claw embedded in the gut of a virtual Sabretooth, his face dripping with sweat. Her voice ripped through his head as clearly as if she'd been standing next to him. Logan roared with anger, the pain of her suffering as palpable as a punch in his face. He retracted his claws and ran full speed out the door of the Danger Room and up to the war room.

Charles sat in front of the video screen, listening as Scott briefed him on what had happened. Logan ran up behind Xavier, his voice growling with anger, his breath ragged from exertion of both dismantling the Danger Room and his furious arrival.

"What the _fuck_ happened with Rogue, Scott?! She called to me…she's...in agony."

Scott's head fell, the pain evident behind the brilliant red of his visor. If ever Logan had a doubt about the team leader's feelings for Rogue, it was erased when he saw Summers' devastation.

"She's flying. We're tracking her but we can't see her at this point. Jean is awake. Weak but physically fine. She said she was…infected by an entity calling itself the Phoenix. That's the reason for her complete personality shift over the last few years."

"That's why I couldn't break through her psychic barriers." Charles whispered to himself.

"After our rescue of the mutants, the Phoenix began to incinerate everything around her. The soldiers…she…" Charles and Logan watched as Scott choked on what he had to say, the images of what the being had done still so fresh in his mind. "It was going to destroy them all. Rogue saved them…saved us."

Scott didn't have to continue for Logan to realize what Rogue had done. She'd used her power to save the people around her. He felt both immensely proud and incredibly terrified at the same time.

"You said she's flyin'. Where is she?"

Charles pressed a few buttons and a second screen appeared where a small flashing red dot seemed to scream out to Logan. The professor spoke next.

"I know what you want to do, Logan. But we can't get to her. Not only is she close to the stratosphere, but she's unstable. She could harm the plane, putting everyone on board in jeopardy. We simply have to…wait."

"Fuck that, Chuck. I'm gonna take the other jet and find her. We can't just let her…"

His thought was interrupted by a scream from behind Scott. Charles and Logan watched as he turned to face the voice behind him. It sounded like Jubilee.

"She's falling! Oh, shit, Scott, she's falling!"

Logan ran forward and yelled at Scott. "Where! Turn the fuckin' camera on outside, Scott! Do it _now_!"

Scott's fingers frantically searched the panel for the right controls and, in an instant, the video screen realized a small figure hurtling downward towards the Earth. It was miles away from their present location.

They heard Jubilee's voice over the speaker. "You! Please! Can you do it for her!"

A contrite reply. "No, I'm sorry, she's too far away and going too fast."

Jubilee's sob pierced the air; a tragic soundtrack for the image in front of them.

Logan's body was racked with tension. His complete and utter helplessness made him furious.

"I shall go, Scott, take the jet and follow me." The tension in Storm's voice was palpable.

Scott barked orders to the people around him. "Strap in people."

The camera shook but stayed on its intended target. Now, the image of Rogue's body became clearer. She was careering downward, her form looking like a rag doll spinning and gyrating through the sky. As the jet ascended, they saw Rogue's body draw closer to the ground and Logan stepped back, his claws extending, wanting to release his anger on something…anything.

"God damn it! She's gonna be fuckin' obliterated!" Logan howled as he watched his unconscious mate just seconds from impacting the Earth at the velocity that would decimate any other object.

The camera picked up the developing clouds and watched as they formed a swirling vortex that moved on a course to intercept Rogue. Logan knew Storm was attempting to slow Rogue's descent but he also realized in his gut that her deceleration rate was too damn fast. She wasn't going to make it.

The tornado caught up to Rogue's position and she disappeared into the dark clouds. Storm flew to where Rogue would have landed and waited a moment before dispersing the weather system. The jet hovered and the camera continued to relay the image of Storm descending to where Rogue should be. Scott moved the Blackbird closer to the large mountain clearing and everyone watched as the last of the clouds dissipated from the area.

There was a gasp from several people aboard the jet.

Charles uttered, "Dear God."

Logan roared.

There, among the pristine landscape of the mountain clearing was a massive crater which held Rogue's motionless, naked, battered and severely burned body.

~oOo~


	10. Chapter 10

~oOo~

Logan paced back and forth in the hangar, waiting not so patiently for the Blackbird to arrive. The image of Rogue's lifeless body was etched into his mind. He and Charles had watched on the video screen as the team disembarked from the Blackbird, Hank and Scott carrying a stretcher and Jubilee toting the physician bag as they made their way to where Rogue lie on the ground.

Rogue was unrecognizable. Her entire body scorched and scarred, her hair absent and her clothes burned away. He had no fucking idea what happened and seeing her decimated body tore at his heart. When he'd witnessed her mental anguish fighting with Carol and the other personalities inside her head, he knew there was nothing he could do for her. It hurt to see her in such agony. But this...this was a whole new level of torture because he could have - _should have, goddammit_ \- been there to help her. He could have had her back and maybe done something so that she hadn't ended up nearly dead.

The claws slid slowly out from between his knuckles and he relished the throbbing pain that always tore through his arms when they extended.

_When they come out…does it hurt?_

_Every time._

Logan's anguished roar reverberated through the large space. He collapsed to his knees, feeling the almost foreign sensation of tears bursting forth from his eyes. His cries were somewhere between choked sobs and the tormented wail of an animal. What if her healing factor and invulnerability weren't enough? What if he lost her? His whispered words were as quiet as his rage was deafening.

"Don't leave me Marie. I can't do this without you."

His hands ran through his hair and the telltale whirring of Charles' wheelchair rose behind him. He made no effort to wipe his wet face or scramble to his feet. It wasn't worth trying to mask emotions when one of the world's most powerful telepaths resided in the same house. Charles' words confirmed that he already knew what Logan was feeling.

"She'll be alright, Logan. Rogue is strong. She's a fighter."

"Yeah, she is, Chuck. But she just went through literal hell. We have no fuckin' idea what that thing did to her head and she looks like she got sent through a meat grinder." He paused and sucked in a breath as the image of Marie's burnt and bloody body raced through his mind. "I just got her back, I can't lose her again."

Charles stopped his chair next to Logan and placed his hand on the large man's shoulder. It was a gesture Charles Xavier had never offered to Logan before but, now, in his brokenness, Logan accepted any attempt at comfort.

The two men looked up as the jet came in to view and descended into the hangar. Charles was about to speak again when the cargo bay doors opened. Logan sprang to his feet, as if he was a predator ready to pounce on its prey. He shifted his weight from one foot to the next, waiting for the entrance ramp to open so he could finally see Marie face to face.

Logan didn't bother to wait for the door to open completely before he jumped aboard, only to be met by Hank and Scott, flanking the stretcher. Jubilee steadied the bag of IV fluids as they exited the Blackbird. Upon seeing her for the first time, Logan almost stopped breathing. She was so much damn worse than she had over the video screen. Her skin looked as if she had been placed in a furnace; it was raw, bloody and seeping. The sheet that covered her nakedness was no longer white but a deep shade of red. Rogue's head was bare and her eyelashes black and singed.

His tears started again and he bent low to whisper in her ear, being careful not to touch her.

"I'm here, baby. You're home. Come on back to me, Marie. I love you."

~oOo~

Logan stood at the head of Marie's bed, watching as Hank worked quickly to get her settled and prepare the equipment he needed to monitor her condition. Once again, the window on the other side of the med lab was filled with people watching Rogue fight for her life. He looked at her still form and resisted the urge to put his hand on her head, not wanting to cause her more pain.

"Her healin' factor, Hank. Why the fuck isn't it kickin' in?"

The doctor finished attaching the sensors to Rogue's body, careful to apply the salve so as not to damage her tissue further. At the question, he stopped and looked Logan straight in the eye.

"It's not working. I'm seeing no change in her condition from the time we found her to now. In every instance where she was injured on a mission or during training, it took approximately ten minutes for her to fully heal. More serious damage may have taken an hour…no more."

This was not the news Logan wanted to hear. He was about to continue when Charles came into the room.

"It's not simply her healing factor that's an issue, Hank. I've been able to access her mind and, well, there's no other way to say this…she's not there."

"Wait…what the hell do you mean she's not there?"

"Whenever someone is asleep or unconscious, they still emit thoughts and emotions as if they're in a dreamlike state. In essence, their mind is present while their body is dormant. In this case, Rogue's body is alive but it's as if her mind is in…for lack of a better term…limbo. There are no memories, no thoughts or feelings taking place."

"But those monitors." Logan moved to the machines tracking Rogue's vital signs. "Those mean she has brain activity."

"Yes. Yes she does. But it's as if she's in utero again. Maybe her experience with the Phoenix damaged her brain as well as her body. Eliminated her mutation or possibly reset her entire system."

Logan was pacing again. A slowly healing Rogue he could handle. Having her entire personality wiped clean was another thing entirely.

"So what the hell do we do, Chuck? Can I touch her? Give her my healin' factor again?"

Hank spoke up this time. "No, Logan. She can control her mutation, which means she would have to wake up and open the connection. At this point she is, for all practical purposes, a normal human without the benefit of her powers."

Logan was trying to control the grief that threatened to bloom into anger. It was an understatement to say that he did not handle bad news well.

"But…no…she's _not_ normal, Hank. A _normal_ human would have been annihilated when they hit the ground. They wouldn't have survived the fall much less be able to lie here, fighting for their life. She's in there and she's gonna to come back. She fuckin' _has_ to come back."

He moved once again to her side, his head close to her ear as he whispered words only she was privileged to hear. He would keep talking and never stop. Maybe his voice would be her light in the darkness.

~oOo~

Jean Grey moved through the kitchen, placing coffee cups, fruit and other items on a large tray. After Hank gave Jean a clean bill of health, she had jumped right in to assist with Rogue's care. She honestly would have done anything she could to help. Putting together a tray of food at three in the morning was nothing compared to what Rogue had done for her.

She placed her hands on the counter and lowered her head, crying the tears she hadn't shed in almost two years. Two years of watching her life spin out of control at the hands of someone…something that wanted nothing more than to dominate everything in its path. She'd watched as it pushed away the love of her life and alienated the people around her, including her closest friend and mentor, Charles.

And now, a woman lies somewhere between death and life, struggling to find her way back from the abyss and it was all her fault. She hadn't been strong enough to fight the Phoenix and now Rogue was paying for her cowardice.

"Hey. You okay?"

She hadn't heard Scott come into the room. Jean looked up and saw him standing there in the dim light, wearing a t-shirt and jeans. To her, he was the most beautiful man she'd ever seen. She wished she could run into his arms and everything would be like it was but she knew that Scott had feelings for Rogue. It hurt but she certainly couldn't blame him for loving someone as strong and beautiful as Marie. All Jean could do now was try her hardest to prove herself again. Maybe…then maybe things could be different.

She smiled. "Yes. Fine, thanks. Guess I'm just having a weepy moment."

Scott nodded his head, remembering how Jean used to throw out that phrase whenever he caught her tearing up.

"Well, you're entitled, you know. After what you told us in the Blackbird, I'm not sure I would even have the strength to get out of bed for a week."

"There's nothing I would like more. But it's not about me right now. Rogue is lying down there because of me and I have to find some way to help her."

"Jean, it wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was, Scott. I _begged_ her for help. For as powerful as Charles thinks I am, I wasn't strong enough to do what Rogue did yesterday. She could die because I wasn't able to fight."

He walked forward and stood next to her at the kitchen counter. "Jean, don't do this. I watched as you sacrificed yourself for all of us at Alkali Lake. You are strong. This…thing…was just stronger."

Jean looked at him. His eyebrows were furrowed as they always were when he was worried. How she had missed him looking at her with that level of concern on his face.

"Thank you for the support, Scott. It's really much more than I deserve."

"You always were too hard on yourself, Jean."

He rested his hand on her shoulder and was surprised to find that it felt natural. Since their breakup, he hadn't thought much about his feelings for Jean because of his growing attraction to Rogue. But standing here with Jean being herself, there was something about it that felt right again.

"Can I give you a hand with this?"

"That would be great, thanks."

Jean sensed Scott's sincerity and feelings of ease with her. It wasn't the passion or connection they'd once had but it was something. And after all she'd done over the last two years, she'd hold on to that something as fiercely as she could.

~oOo~

After seventy two hours, Hank had broken down and forced Logan out of the med lab for a minimum of an hour. He'd been ordered to shower after Hank had declared Logan 'ripe enough to curl my hair'. Since there had been no change in Rogue's condition, Logan had finally agreed.

Hank, Charles and Jean had worked continuously to try and access her mind as well as attend to her medically. Her vital signs indicated she was in some sort of stasis and Charles tried to be optimistic but Logan could smell the worry pouring off everyone in the lab. Logan had been reading to Rogue, talking to her, doing anything he could to keep their connection open. There was one spot just behind her ear that he'd begun to touch, softly caressing her damaged skin, wanting to be as close to her as he could.

Logan returned to the med lab, holding his cup of coffee and carrying a bag of fresh bagels that the housekeeper had procured from the local baker. She always knew just how to take care of the people in the mansion. He made a mental note that he would get the diminutive woman a special thank you gift when all this was over.

Hank smelled the bagels and his stomach audibly growled.

"I suppose I should eat."

"Take as many as you want, Blue."

Logan resumed his place, sitting in a chair at the top of Rogue's bed and pulled out the new book he'd brought down from the library. He chuffed, remembering a conversation he'd had with Rogue the previous week about his lack of desire to read novels.

_"You should really give it a try, Logan."_

_"Darlin', there's a lot more things I'd rather be doin' than readin'."_

_"Yeah, I can see how bar fighting, fucking and hockey could take up your whole day."_

_"Hey, don't knock it till you try it, sweetcheeks."_

_"They make books with pictures, you know. Nice ones with big words."_

_"Now you're just bein' a smartass."_

_"Dick and Jane. There's something just your speed."_

_"I'll give you some dick, darlin'."_

_"Neanderthal."_

He smiled softly. She was so fucking good for him. Knew just how to make him a better man but never pushed him to be something he wasn't. Logan looked at her still charred face and it hit him again that he might lose her. His lips took their place next to her ear and he gave the tip of her earlobe a soft kiss before speaking.

"Hey baby. I brought a new book for you. I think you'll like it. It's by Stephen King. Should have lots of blood and gore. Not exactly Shakespeare but I know you're glad I'm at least reading somethin' besides Dr. Seuss. Okay, now…"

Logan stopped when he caught sight of the spot of the small patch of skin that he so often caressed.

"Hank, get over here."

The large blue doctor rushed to where Logan sat and followed the man's finger as Logan pointed to the small patch of pink, new skin.

"My stars and garters, Logan. She's healing."

Hank moved aside the warming blanket and carefully inspected the rest of her body.

"Here. And here." He pointed to six small areas that showed signs that she was beginning to heal on her own.

Logan bent down to Rogue's ear again. "You hear that, Marie. You're gettin' better. Keep movin' out of that black in there, darlin'. I'm waitin' for you."

~oOo~

It took another several days before Rogue's body began to resemble anything close to normal. Her hair was still gone and the skin was delicate but it was evident that her healing factor was still intact albeit working at a fraction of the pace it had before the altercation with the Phoenix.

Charles continued to gently probe her mind, searching for any sign she might regain consciousness. Logan watched the man, anxious to hear what he'd discovered. Charles lifted his hands away from Rogue's temples, the disappointment evident in his face.

"Dammit. Alright, then, we just keep waitin'. She's healin' so it'll just take time."

"Logan it's possible that her body may heal but not the damage to her mind. We just don't know."

"It ain't an option, Chuck. If I have to sit here for the next fuckin' year, talkin' and readin' to her, that's what I'm gonna do. I know her. She's a stubborn little shit and I know she ain't gonna give up."

Xavier shook his head, knowing that nothing he said would change Logan's mind. He directed his chair forward and was stopped by Hank's excited voice.

"Look!" Charles turned his head and saw Hank, Jean and Logan staring at the monitor, watching as the lines of Rogue's brain activity jumped slightly. "There. She's there."

Logan ran back to the bed and placed his face directly over hers. His hands gently stroked the fragile skin of her face.

"Marie. Baby. Come on, darlin', I know you're tryin' to get out of there."

Jean's voice was trembling. "She's waking up. Oh, God, Logan, keep talking to her."

"I knew you wouldn't give up, Marie. You don't like to lose, girl. Keep goin', baby. Keep goin'."

Hank, Jean and Charles watched breathlessly as the monitor continued to fluctuate wildly. They began to see her eyes move from side to side underneath her closed eyelids. Charles picked up the slightest hint of her emotions and it caused his chest to constrict. He caught Jean's eye and her face immediately fell, knowing the strained and fearful look on Charles face. Before anything could be said between them, Rogue's eyes fluttered open.

Logan smiled and looked deeply into her beautiful eyes. "Welcome back, darlin'." He began to move his head towards hers, intending to claim her lips with his own when he was stopped cold by the terrified tone in her voice.

"Who are you?"

~oOo~


	11. Chapter 11

~oOo~

"Marie, baby, it's me. It's Logan."

His eyes were pleading with her, begging Marie to raise her mouth in that sexy, self-assured way of hers. But in a nanosecond it was clear that this was not the Marie who'd held him after a nightmare just over a week ago. This was not the Marie who'd whispered words in his ear that made him crazy with lust. These eyes were wide with the same type of confusion and terror that bored into him the night he impaled her with his claws.

_No. Please God, no._

"Get away from me."

"Marie…"

He reached for her face again and she flinched; recoiled from him as if he was some abusive psychopath preparing to attack her. There was no recognition in her eyes.

"Now."

Logan backed away from her as if she'd physically slapped him. The familiar pain of watching her but not being able to do anything to help washed over him. He'd failed to protect her and now she was lost to him.

"Logan, why don't you come over here and let me see her, okay?"

Jean's voice was soothing; she was trying to give Marie some measure of comfort among the group of now-strangers standing in front of her. Jean saw Marie's eyes dart from Logan to the professor and then to Hank when she immediately sat up, clutching the sheet to her chest and inadvertently pulling on the wires and intravenous drips connected to her arms and chest.

"Where in the holy fuck am I? Who are you people?"

Jean reached out to Marie telepathically, trying to help her calm down while she spoke.

"It's alright. You're safe. Let me explain what's going on." She turned around and addressed the men gathered in the corner of the room. "You all should leave while I talk to Marie."

Charles nodded and moved his wheelchair toward the exit. Hank took Logan by the arm and practically had to drag the poor man from the room which was no easy feat even for Hank. The men left and Jean sat next to Marie, her heart broken at the raw anguish Logan was projecting. Jean tried to clear it from her mind and turned to Marie, smiling and leaning forward, attempting to appear as non-threatening as possible.

"My name is Doctor Jean Grey. I know this is all a great shock to you. Can you tell me what you remember?"

Marie was silent, her eyes darting all over the room until she finally locked eyes with Jean once more. The absence of the three men coupled with Jean's telepathic suggestion had calmed Marie down. Instead of being defensive and protective of herself, now Marie was questioning...and scared.

"I…I don't know. I remember…fire." _And so much pain. Rage. Fear. Sadness._ "There was fire all around me. Is that what happened? I was in an accident? Is this a hospital?"

"Yes. You were…in an accident."

Marie's confusion and despair deepened. It was projecting so strongly, Jean had to take a breath in order to concentrate.

"Who am I?"

Where her voice was laced with anger and fear just moments earlier when Logan had been standing over her, now it sounded desperate and almost child-like. The horrible twist of events that now had Marie in the position of imploring Jean for help because Jean hadn't been able to supplant the Phoenix was not lost on the telepath in the least. She owed this woman her life. Jean took Marie by the hand.

"Your name is Marie. And I am your friend."

~oOo~

Logan, Hank and Charles stood behind the security glass just outside Rogue's room, watching the two women talk. Observing Marie's body language told Logan that she was nervous and afraid. It made him want to both scream and sob at his inability to do anything for her. The look in Marie's eyes, the scent of her fear and the way she recoiled from him was worse than any physical injury he'd ever endured.

They watched for a few more minutes as Jean continued to speak. From time to time, Rogue would answer and seem to even be amused.

"Rogue seems to be taking all this information in stride. I'd say that's a good sign." Hank observed.

"She can't fuckin' remember who she is, Hank. I don't think that's a goddamn _good sign_."

Logan stood facing the window, his arms crossed and his jaw clenched in anger. He resisted the temptation to slide the claws in and out as he did when he was suppressing the wolverine pushing to break free. The pain was a distraction from his anger but, right now, he didn't want any distractions.

Charles, always the eternal optimist, endeavored to put a positive view on the situation.

"At least she's awake and, physically, she's healing. It's quite possible that her memories are just taking longer to emerge."

Logan turned to Charles, attempting to remain calm despite his immense desire to rage against the injustice of having Marie taken from him.

"I can't smell her, Chuck."

Charles' eyebrow rose the way it always did when he wasn't quite sure how to respond.

"Every one of you has a particular scent, includin' Marie. But as a feral and my mate, there's an…aroma she gives off that marks her as mine. It ain't there." The hopelessness in his voice was evident. "Not even a trace."

None of the men spoke, realizing that there were no words of comfort or encouragement to be offered. They watched as Jean pressed a button and the glass in front of them darkened. Jean stepped out of the door and into the waiting area, crossing her arms over her chest.

"She's getting dressed. I told her about everything. The school, her background and her place as a member of the X-Men. Although her skin has healed, she shows no sign of recovering her powers as of yet." Jean smiled. "Other than telling me she's not wearing a cape and tights, she seemed to take it all pretty well. The only thing she remembers is the fire. Other than that…nothing. Not her name, her past…" Jean purposely looked at Logan, her eyes apologetic. "Not even you."

Logan's head bowed and all the anger and frustration dissipated into pure grief. His voice was rough and low as he choked out his words.

"Can I see her?"

"Give her a few minutes. I mentioned that she would probably have visitors but that we would let her be alone as much as she wanted right now just to get used to the situation. She's chosen to stay in the med lab for at least a few days and then she can decide where she wants to stay in the mansion."

Hank spoke up. "I'll still want to monitor her condition and Charles will be available to assist her in any way, I'm sure."

"Yes, I explained all of that to her and she's very amenable to our help. I'm just hoping we can."

Charles moved his chair forward and took Jean's hand. "Thank you Jean. It's good to have you back again."

Her eyes fell to the floor and her mouth turned downward.

"It shouldn't have been at Rogue's expense, Charles."

"Jean, she chose to help you. And now we will all be there to help her." Charles paused a moment. "Why don't we all leave Rogue to get dressed. I'm sure she could use some time to herself."

"I ain't leavin', Chuck."

Jean stepped forward and put her hand on Logan's shoulder. "I know you love her, Logan. Just don't push her too hard. She's just as stubborn as you are, remember? Be patient."

"Yeah, she is, isn't she? I'll take it easy, Jeannie. Thanks."

Hank, Jean and Charles made their way out of the waiting room and back out into the mansion. Logan stood at the doorway, his hands on either side of the frame, attempting to calm the storm whirling in his head. He remembered driving in that broken down camper of his, Marie's bravado so evident even then.

_So, what kind of name is Rogue?_

_I don't know. What kind of name is 'Wolverine'?_

But even for all her strength and bravery, she had that sensitive side. The part of her that wanted to belong…to be loved and accepted. It was what drove her to help the people around her and what caused her to end up in the med lab without any memory of who she was. But he wasn't about to give up on her. She was his life. She was his salvation.

~oOo~

Marie finished dressing in underclothes, simple t-shirt, yoga pants and a sweatshirt that Jean had given her. Apparently, these were Marie's own clothes, taken from a locker just outside the room. She brought the sweatshirt to her nose and inhaled deeply. It was a strange smell, musky and tinged with the scent of smoke. Did she smoke? Hell, she couldn't remember. It was so damn frustrating. Jean had called her a hero, said she'd saved Jean's life. But she sure as shit didn't feel very heroic sitting here in the medical facility of some mutant school with no memory of who she was.

She ran her hand over the stubble on her head.

"A literal clean slate. Hoo-fucking-rah."

She turned at the sound of the door and locked eyes with the man who'd stood over her when she'd woken up. He was tall and solidly built with wild, dark hair and the kind of intense stare that made you feel like a rabbit being stalked by a wolf. This was the man Jean had told her about.

"Hey."

His voice was deep and rough but with a layer of gentleness.

"Hey yourself."

"My name's…"

"Logan." She interrupted, a soft smile on her face. "Jean told me. I'm sorry for wigging out on your earlier. Waking up with a strange guy staring down at me was not exactly what I was expecting."

He moved over to the wall and leaned against it, crossing his large arms and cocking his head to one side. The corner of his mouth rose up in a sly smile.

"I've always been told I got a face only my momma could love."

Her laughter rang through his ears and it was all he could to not to cross the distance between them and take her in his arms. She rubbed her bald head and he could tell she was shy about her appearance.

"Yeah, well, at least you don't look like you just dipped yourself in a vat of hair remover." She sat back on the bed and put her hands in her lap. Logan could smell her nervousness around him.

"Darlin'….sorry…Marie…you look…"

_Don't push it. Don't scare her. Don't say she looks fuckin' incredible because she's_ alive _and she's here and you want her more in this second than you've ever wanted anyone in your life._

"You look great."

Marie captured his gaze again and despite having no memory of him, she knew that Logan was telling the truth. It was insane, considering the fact that he was big, dark, brooding and looked like he could kill someone a thousand different ways and know just how to hide the body, but she trusted him.

"Jean told me…about us. I'm sorry. I can't remember anything."

His hands moved into his pockets now. He was trying hard to hide his disappointment. He probably wasn't doing it very well.

"It's alright. I didn't come in here to push you, Marie. Just wanted you to know that I'm here for you. Anythin' you need, consider it done."

"Thanks Logan."

He nodded his head and moved away from the wall. Logan took a few steps toward Marie before he stopped, willing himself to not overstep the boundary and frighten her. They searched each other's eyes for a moment. Logan wanted Marie to know he was hers and Marie fought to reclaim any connection that would bring her out of the darkness.

"I'll let you…I'll go. Be back later to bring you some books and stuff, if you want."

"That would be great, yeah."

Logan stepped back and cocked his head to the side again. "Later then Marie."

"Bye Logan. It was good to meet you…again, I guess."

He walked out the door and Marie recognized the musky and slightly smoky aroma from her sweatshirt wafting through the air. That smell belonged to Logan.

~oOo~

The rest of Marie's day was spent in the med lab. Hank ran tests, Charles attempted to access her mind and the occasional visitor would come by to see her. Marie had elected to stay the next few days rather than move to a room. Roaming around a large mansion where people knew her but who she couldn't remember seemed a completely overwhelming idea. Besides, maybe in a few days, she would be back to normal…whatever that meant.

She was looking at one of the magazines Jean had brought for her and eating a sandwich when a bubbly Asian woman came into the room. She had deep brown eyes, a wide, friendly smile, and practically bounced when she walked.

"Hey, chica. I'm Jubilee. Just so you know, we're totally best friends and I know everything about you. Love the cueball look, by the way. You wear it well."

Jubilee sat down next to her and Marie smiled. No bullshit. She liked this Jubilee already.

"Thanks. I think everyone's going to want to shave their head after they see me. So, you're a mutant?"

By way of an answer, Jubilee lifted up her hand and Marie watched as tiny sparkles of energy floated up into the air, each one bursting with a gentle 'paff'.

"I can do bigger. Fireworks, large nasty balls of energy. Fun stuff. I've even moved my way up the mutant chain from 'does cute tricks' to 'dangerous'."

"Huh. Cool. So…what exactly can I do? They told me I had powers but didn't tell me a lot of specifics."

"I always called you the vampire. You can absorb other people's mutations. The crappy part is that before you could control it, you couldn't touch anyone or else you'd suck out their powers, memories, whatever."

"Well, I'll be damned."

"No shit. You had a whole library of powers in that head of yours, girl. Including flight."

"I could fly?"

"Oh, like a rocket, chica. You can also heal…you got that one from tall, dark and hairy."

"Logan?"

"Yep. You touched him twice. Got his healing and his feral abilities; enhanced smell, sound and sight. Of course it also means you like to run around in the woods and shit, but, hey everyone's got their quirks, right?"

Marie laughed. "So, Jean said Logan and I were…involved. When I talked to him earlier he seemed kind of intense."

Jubilee nodded. "Not to freak you out, but you and Logan were more than involved. You were connected. That man loves you more than anyone on this planet and you were just as crazy about him."

The sandwich in Marie's stomach suddenly threatened to go back where it came from. She put her head in her hands and pressed, as if she could release the memories that hid somewhere in the blackness of her mind.

"I want to remember. I fucking hate feeling like this."

Jubilee patted Marie on the knee. "Look, we love you and we want to help. Just relax and let us take care of you for once. You were always trying to do things for everyone else, it's our turn."

"Thanks. It means a lot."

The woman stood up and wrapped her arms around Marie in a fierce hug.

"When you want to blow this pop stand, let me know and coordinate the escape. Find you a room that doesn't smell like antiseptic…" Jubilee made her voice lower. "…and Hank's Twinkie stash."

"I heard that, young lady. My lab does not smell like Twinkies."

Jubilee winked at Marie and grinned.

"You know I love you, Big Blue, but those things are gonna kill you. They're all chemicals, dude."

"A man must have his vices…and mine happens to be deliciously filled snack cakes."

Jubilee rolled her eyes and snickered. Marie's new…old…best friend turned back to her and waved. "I'll come back tomorrow and get you out of the house for a bit. That new skin of yours needs a little sun. Later!"

"Bye, Jubilee."

Marie heard the sound of her own voice whisper in the back of her mind.

_Love you too, firecracker._

~oOo~

Logan was on his way back down to see Marie, a load of books, her iPod and other things stacked in a box. The process of removing her items from the place they shared tore at his heart. The room was nothing without her there. He'd taken one of her shirts and held it to his face, breathing her scent deep into his lungs, forcing that smell to etch even deeper into his brain that it was already.

His eyes glanced down at the shirt, placed on top of the other items he was carrying and his chest felt heavy. He wanted to walk through the door to see her waiting for him with open arms and that subtle Marie smile she saved only for him. But she wouldn't. And he would be there every damn day, waiting for that smile, waiting to claim her again.

He walked down the last step and turned the corner only to see Scott making his way down the hallway, his mouth turned upward in a small smile. In Logan's mood, he wanted nothing more than to smack that grin off the boy scout's face.

Scott's steps faltered as he saw Logan approaching.

"What are you doin', Scott?"

"Just wanted to say hi to Rogue, Logan. She is my friend, you know."

The two men stopped, facing each other in the hallway like two old west enemies preparing for a shootout on Main Street. Scott realized that he could not have picked a worse time to visit the med lab.

"Did you now? You hopin' that since she's got no memory, you might have a shot, Scooter?"

"Unlike you, Logan, I don't go sniffing around other guys' girlfriends when they're not looking."

Logan dropped the box and had Scott pinned up against the wall in the blink of an eye.

"Don't play noble with me, One-Eye. You've been hoverin' around her since you and Jean broke up. But Marie chose _me_. Don't you fuckin' forget that."

"I won't forget, Logan. But don't you forget that if you hadn't come back, Rogue and I would probably be together right now. So if her memories don't resurface, maybe you should just back the fuck off and let her decide for herself."

Scott's tilted his head forward enough that they were almost touching foreheads.

"Now let me go or so help me God, they're going be scraping your brains off the walls for a week."

Logan pushed against Scott's chest and stepped away, knowing that killing or even maiming the pretty boy wouldn't exactly endear him to Marie. But it was fucking tempting. Scott was competition and that was a contest he wasn't sure he could win now. If Marie didn't get back her memories and recover her feral senses, their connection would be gone. Could she love him as a man and not as her savior, her protector, her mate? Scott was a good guy. Maybe Jeannie had been right and women wanted the good guy over….well, whatever he was. Maybe he wasn't a knight in shining armor but he wasn't going to leave her again. And he hoped that would be enough.

It had to be enough.

~oOo~

Marie was sitting on the edge of the bed while Hank carefully inserted a needle into her vein.

"I really don't like needles."

Hank laughed softly. "So you've told me on many occasions, my dear."

"Oh….sorry."

The door opened and her heart skipped a beat when she saw it was Logan. Her heart fluttered in her chest as if she were a teenage girl mooning over the high school quarterback. She'd met Scott earlier and was taken aback at how handsome he was, despite not being able to see Scott's eyes through that ruby visor. He was sweet and kind and strong all at the same time.

But this man was raw. Pure and raw and he loved her. God she wished she had her memories because she was damn sure they would be worth playing over in her head.

"Couldn't stay away, huh?"

It wasn't her running into his arms, but the smile on her face drained away any traces of anger from Logan's confrontation with Scott. He smirked, relieved that she was happy to see him.

"I hear this is the place to be."

"Oh, definitely. Later, Hank is going to open up the nitrous and we're going to party."

"Sounds like I got here just in time then."

Hank patted Marie on the shoulder. "Finished, Marie. You're free to get down now."

Logan motioned toward the box he'd set on the table next to her bed. "So..brought you some stuff to read. Your music…and some DVD's you like…liked. Ah, hell…I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Logan. Shit even I don't know what to make of myself." She took his hand in hers. "But I appreciate you wanting to help."

"I'll do anythin' for you, Marie."

His fingers came up and touched her cheek much like the night on the Statue of Liberty when he was so desperate to bring her back to life. Her newly healed skin was soft and delicate with that trace of pink in her face. Logan reveled in the feel of her and found himself lost in her eyes, wanting to bring her lips to his own once again.

Before either of them said a word, he felt the pull of her mutation under his fingertips.

Terrified, Marie jerked away from him and Logan stepped back, only slightly dazed by their brief contact. Her powers were returning.

Logan smiled.

Marie screamed.

~oOo~


	12. Chapter 12

~oOo~

Marie's hands were clamped to the sides of her head as if that would stem the tide of Logan's powers rushing through her. Suddenly, the lab was filled with the harsh smell of disinfectant and, true to Jubilee's word, the pungent odor of Twinkies. The sound of heartbeats pounded in her ears. Logan's excitement. Hank's wonder and fear. Her own pulse loud and distracting. The lights were harsh and too bright on her sensitive eyes.

Then she heard the voices…saw the memories. Logan's memories.

_Leave her the fuck alone, One-Eye._

_Yeah, well, I ain't runnin' anymore, and if you go, I'm gonna follow._

_Were you in the army? Don't those mean you were in the army?_

_Fuckin' hell, woman. It should be against the law for you to put on clothes._

_I love you, Marie._

_I love you, Logan._

She stumbled backward, overwhelmed with what she was seeing inside her head. The intensity of Logan's feelings for her; how she looked beneath his body as he'd ridden her to the crest of pleasure over and over again; his raw anguish at seeing her body burnt almost beyond recognition; the peace of having her in his arms in the dark of the night.

"Oh God. Oh _God_."

"Marie…"

Logan reached for her and she instinctively jerked her arms away from him. Both fearing for his safety and realizing she was unable to decipher where his feelings ended and hers began. Marie did what she saw in his memories…she ran. She ran through the house, only recognizable to her because of the images from Logan's mind, and made her way past shocked children and concerned adults. She reached the doors that led to his sanctuary…the woods.

~oOo~

Logan followed her. He wasn't trying to stop her in the least. Marie was feeling his frustration, his anger, his lust and the only way she could get it out was to do what a feral does best; run. Run from the pain. Run from the confusion. Push her body until it gave out. Logan had promised her that if she ran, he was going to follow and with the amount of times he'd so spectacularly failed Marie over the years, he wasn't about to break that vow.

They sprinted through the trees, creating a dance that was graceful, powerful and driven by pure instinct. Where Marie darted left, Logan countered around to her right. When she leapt over a fallen tree, he would explode out of the dense thicket. They were silent predators, searching for the place in his memory where he'd seen her for the first time in five years. Bursting through the treeline, the two were met with a green, open field, the grass swaying in time to the invisible music of the wind.

Marie stopped. She recognized the clearing from Logan's memories. It was beautiful. Peaceful. She turned around and watched as the trees moved lazily in the breeze, stray leaves falling to the ground. Marie's voice was quiet, almost reverent.

"I was so angry at you that day."

"Do you…remember it?" Hopeful. Almost pleading.

She shook her head and looked sadly at the ground.

"No. But I can see how upset I was through your eyes. How you felt the anger coming off of me in waves."

"You were hurtin' Marie. I knew that."

Marie collapsed to the ground, reared her hand up and back behind her shoulder-blade then thrust her clenched fist into the earth with a dull thud.

"This is so fucked up! I don't know you! I can't remember you or anyone else in this place and now I've got all these memories of us but they're your feelings…your past! So who the fuck am I?"

He moved slowly to her side and knelt down next to her. His arm draped gently over her shoulder and he leaned Marie back until they were both sitting side by side.

"You're Marie. You're stronger than any person I've ever met. You're stubborn and a smartass and you like to be right all the fuckin' time." He paused for just a moment. "You love dancin' when no one's lookin' and if there's a stash of chocolate covered raisins in the house, you can sniff it out and down it in a day. You love bein' spoiled even though you always protest it and nothin' makes you happier than givin' someone else a gift."

She sat for a moment, allowing the vividness of the images in her head to fade.

"I feel so empty inside. I can't even remember how I got this way. I just have flashes of the pain and a voice in my head. Then…nothing."

"You won, though. Even if you don't remember everythin', you're alive and that's the most important thing."

Her head moved upward, her eyes finding his, searching for any answer, any shred of hope.

"Is it, though? Is it if I don't have any memory of you or this place or my friends? Do I try and go back to the way things used to be or do I try and start a new life for myself? I just have no goddamn idea."

"I'm sorry, Marie. I don't know if you're gonna get your memories back and I don't want you to feel like you owe me or anyone else here somethin'. I love you, I always will. And these people will always be your friends. And bein' here for you means that even if you gotta make new memories and become a whole new person, we'll have your back."

He sighed and said the words she needed to hear but that made his gut twist when they flowed past his lips.

"Even if that means you have a life that doesn't include me."

She sniffled and rested her head in her hands.

"I'm sorry I've hurt you, Logan. You seem like a really great guy and it's obvious from your memories I loved you. I just can't make any promises."

"I ain't askin' for promises, Marie. I just want you to get better."

Marie looked at her hands. "Get better. Seems that my getting better involves me killing people with my skin. Jubilee told me that before I could control this, I couldn't touch anyone."

Logan nodded. "Yeah. You wore long gloves and kept your skin pretty covered up."

"So I can't touch anyone."

"I heal."

She looked at him questioningly.

"So if you touch me, I can come back from it better than other people. You can touch me, Marie."

There was so much love in those huge brown eyes of his. Marie wasn't sure if it was just his ability to relay his feelings through a look or if it had something to do with their previous connection, as Jubilee had called it. He would never be afraid of her.

"Well, let's just hope I figure out a way to control it. Because, I've gotta be honest, I'd rather not have any more memories of being tortured like a lab rat."

"Aw, _fuck_ , Marie. You went through that once already, sorry you got 'em again."

"They weren't that bad. Just flashes, really. But you've got claws? I mean, what the hell?"

He put his hand up and allowed the metal to slide out from in between his knuckles, not caring that he would have to endure the pain one more time.

"Don't. I know that it hurts when they come out."

The memory of that conversation in Logan's camper flashed through both Logan and Marie's minds and, in unison, they spoke the next words.

"Every time."

They laughed softly and Marie wiped the tears from her eyes.

"It's alright…about your memories, I mean. The other images of…well…" She was blushing. A lot. "…us…make up for it."

Logan felt himself flush with desire at the idea that she'd seen those memories. Control. He needed to maintain control.

"Right. Yeah. Those are…good."

Both of them were warm now and Logan pulled his arm away in order to prevent him from giving in to the impulse to throw Marie on the ground and make new memories for her.

He looked down and saw that her bare feet were freshly healed from the scratches and puncture wounds she'd received while running. "Let me carry you back, Marie. Your healin' factor will probably help but your skin is pretty fresh and your feet are gonna hurt like a bitch if you try and walk."

She laughed softly, her nose still stuffed from crying. "Oh, swell, a piggy back ride."

"Yeah, well if you're a good girl, I'm sure the doctor will give you a lollipop."

Logan stood up and put his hand under her elbow to help her up. She pulled the hood over her bald head and he took her into his arms, instead of hoisting her onto his back. He wanted to experience the feel of her next to him. This would be one memory he would burn into his mind. Especially if it was going to be the last time he would ever be this close to her again.

~oOo~

Scott left his calculus students to work on their own after he saw Rogue running out to the woods with Logan close behind. He made it halfway to the med lab when he ran into Jean in the hallway. Literally.

"Oh, Scott! I'm sorry, I didn't see you!"

"Jean, no, it's my fault, I was in such a hurry…"

They stood for a moment, Scott's hands on Jean's upper arms, their bodies closer together than they had been in almost two years. Scott took a step backward and dropped one arm to his side while the other went up and cupped the back of his neck.

"I should know better than to barrel around a corner like that in this place. There's always someone coming the other direction."

Jean smiled, trying not to look wounded that she knew the reason for his running down to the med lab.

"You were worried about Rogue."

His head shot up and she could tell he was searching her face. They'd been together long enough for her to know how he was feeling even though his eyes were hidden behind his ever present glasses.

"Well, yeah, she bolted out to the woods with Logan hot on her heels. I figured something happened."

"She touched Logan and her powers came back."

"They did?"

"Well, not all of them…at least not yet. But she touched him, screamed and then ran out of the lab. From what I picked up from her, she was just scared and overwhelmed. I'm sure she just needs some time."

"Her memories?"

"No, I don't think those came back. If they did, I'm sure she would have reacted differently."

"Oh. Right."

She watched him as he processed this information. Jean knew Scott. He was weighing the different options, wondering what his next step should be, how to react to this new situation. He was always the leader, always the analyst.

"I doubt she'll be all that long. You could come back down later. I'm sure she'd be happy to see you."

Scott regarded Jean's soft and gentle smile. Two years ago, he would have done absolutely anything to see that look on her face; to hear her speak to him with kindness rather than bitterness and anger. With the Phoenix gone from her psyche, the Jean he knew was back. But now there was Rogue. The woman he longed for who now had no memories of her connection to Logan.

"Jean, this is…"

"Really damn awkward, Scott."

"Well…yeah."

Jean shifted her hips and brought the file folder she was holding up to her chest and crossed her arms.

"I know you have feelings for Rogue. I can't blame you, Scott, she's really an incredible woman. I know that I totally screwed things up for us…"

"It wasn't you, Jean, it was the Phoenix."

"Well, however it happened, I know you moved on and, yeah, it hurts, but I'll be okay. I just want you to be happy." She stepped forward and put her hand on Scott's cheek. "Just be careful, alright? Rogue already chose Logan once and I don't want you to get your heart broken again. I care about you too much."

Jean moved back and smiled again. She took a few steps and disappeared around the corner, the sound of her heels echoing on the stairway.

Scott had convinced himself for the longest time that Jean and he were just never meant to be. That she'd finally gotten over their 'golden couple' image and wanted to move on. But in the last week, he'd found out that Jean had never wanted to end their relationship and their last two encounters had left him with the lingering feeling that she still loved him.

The question remained; did he want to pursue the love of a woman who already chose another man or reclaim the love of a woman who never left his heart completely?

~oOo~

An hour after her foray into the woods, Marie sat once again under the bright lights and ever watchful gaze of Hank McCoy.

"Did you have a good nature walk, my dear?"

The laughter erupted from deep inside her chest.

"Hank, I'll bet you don't get enough credit for your sense of humor."

"You know, it does seem that people take me far too seriously. Which is rather ironic considering I resemble a much larger version of the Cookie Monster."

Marie roared with laughter again.

Charles Xavier wheeled into the med lab and couldn't help chuckling along with Marie despite the fact that he had no idea what was so funny. He simply enjoyed the fact that Rogue sounded happy. He had a feeling that was going to be better medicine than anything Hank or Jean could do.

"It is so good to see you cheerful again, Marie."

She wiped a small tear from her eye. "Oh, Charles, you have got to get this man a stage and a microphone. He would kill in a comedy club."

Hank winked at the professor. "She gives me far too much credit. But it is appreciated nonetheless."

Marie smiled at the doctor, glad to feel that she was making friends.

"So, what brings you to my corner of the world, professor?"

"Well, I heard about the incident this morning and wanted to check and see how you were doing."

_That's what they call it, you know. 'The incident'. As if they can't bring themselves to say what it was. Murder. I'm a murderer now, Logan._

Once again, the voice crept up the back of her mind, teasing with her own words and taunting her with a memory that would not make itself known.

Charles felt Marie tense. "What is wrong, child?"

"It was my voice. Like a whisper in my head. It had to be a memory."

"That is possible. Your healing factor and your primary mutation have returned. It is possible that you will recover your memories as well, but with the amount of trauma you sustained, it may take a long time." He moved his chair to the side of her bed. "I'd be more than happy to try and help you again, Marie."

"I know. Thank you. But I think I'm done being poked, touched and inspected for a while."

Hank spoke up. "It has been a very long day for you, Marie. As your doctor, I am prescribing a good night's sleep. There will be ample opportunity for you to look for more answers tomorrow."

Charles nodded. "Yes, yes. As always, Hank is correct. Get some rest now."

Marie smiled as Xavier turned his chair around and glided almost silently out the door. She sighed as the exhaustion washed over her.

"I'm going to turn out my lights, Hank. Thanks for everything today."

"You're quite welcome, my dear. Either myself or Jean will be here during the night in case you should need anything."

"Even a midnight snack?"

"We draw the line at 3am pastrami sandwiches."

Marie giggled again. "Night Dr. McCoy."

"Goodnight, Marie."

~oOo~

Logan walked into the lab only to see the door to Marie's small room closed and the lights off.

"She's asleep, Logan."

In that moment, Hank thought Logan appeared more like a kicked puppy than a fierce Wolverine. It made him chuckle, knowing that a man who would tear apart his enemy with such ruthless abandon could be so completely lost to the petite woman behind the door.

"Aw…damn…I brought her somethin' to eat." Logan held out the tray of food as if he now had no idea what to do with it.

"That was kind of you. We can save it for her in case she wakes up."

Logan put the tray on an empty spot on the counter and stood for a moment, turning around and leaning back against the cabinets.

"How's she doin', Blue?"

Hank removed his glasses. "She seems to be doing alright physically. Her primary power is still intact and she cannot control it, much to her dismay. But it is a curious point regarding her healing factor. It was a mutation she acquired after touching you so, technically, it should not have appeared until later, as her powers began to resurface."

"Hank, bottom line it for me, please."

"There is no rhyme or reason to her condition. I have no idea if the Phoenix will resurface, if she will regain control of her skin, whether her memories will reappear…I just don't know. There is nothing I can do for her medically…now it's all up to her."

~oOo~

_Pain. Pain and fear and anger. She arises out of a tank filled with water, screaming, raging…uncontrollable. As she stands, naked and dripping wet, her body feels heavy, the weight disorienting. Her throat is raw as the cries rip from her throat and her hands come up, clenching into fists as she waves them in front of her face._

_In an instant, the metal claws eject from in between her knuckles, reflecting in the bright lights of the laboratory. She sees her blood coated over the shining surface and the pain sears through her hands and up her arms. She feels nausea and blind panic. Jumping out of the tank, the monitor wires rip and she hears shouting. Soldiers charge and she dispatches them one at a time, feeling the satisfaction of each kill. The scent of their death inflames her, pushes her, gives her purpose._

_She runs, impaling and beheading those who get in her way before…there…a door. She pushes it and the bright sunlight blinds her. She is free…._

~oOo~

Logan was about to walk out of the infirmary when Marie's blood curdling screams filled his ears. Hank and Logan rushed to her door and slid it open. The doctor turned on the lights, only to see Marie kneeling in her bed, looking at her hands, her eyes wild and unfocused.

"Marie!" The scent of her terror is so pungent it burns Logan's nostrils. "Marie! You're alright! Wake up!"

She held out her hands, searching for the blades, looking for any indication of their presence.

Logan moved forward slowly, his hands outstretched, wanting to touch her shoulder, to comfort her like she's comforted him so many nights after his nightmares stormed through his mind.

"Baby, you're okay. Everythin' is fine."

Her eyes meet his and her anger and fear are evident even to Hank.

"Don't you fucking _touch_ me." Marie put her hand out in front of her. "I had flashes of it earlier but this…this was so fucking _real_. The claws…the pain…the smell of the blood…the sound of the metal ripping through their flesh." She had to stop, her shaking hands moving to her chest in a vain attempt to calm her pounding heart.

"I'm sorry, darlin'." He was sorrier than she would ever know. Chalk it up on the list of ways he'd failed the woman he loved.

"Is this what I'm going to become? If I get my powers back? My memories? I heard myself tell you I'd murdered someone? Is that who I was? A murderer? Did I _enjoy_ killing people?"

She looked frantically from Logan to Hank and the two men shook their heads vigorously. Hank's deep voice was gentle and soothing.

"No, my dear. Quite the opposite. You were fantastically strong and an amazing fighter but you were no murderer. You only did what you had to do to protect your teammates…your friends."

Logan moved forward again, wanting so desperately to cradle her in his arms as he'd done countless times when she'd been woken from one of his dreams.

"Marie."

"No. You have to go. I can't see you. I can't look at you." She turned on her side and lay down, curling her legs up to her chest. Marie's voice hitched as she tried to control her tears.

"Please just go."

With those soft words, Logan's entire world ripped away.

~oOo~

Jubilee had come to sit with Marie for the rest of the night. She'd finally gotten Marie to eat something and then Jubilee had joined her in the bed where she stroked the traumatized woman's back until she'd fallen asleep. Hank had given Marie some medication to help calm her and, hopefully get her to rest, but only after Marie had fought the idea, dreading the possibility of experiencing another nightmare.

Once Marie was soundly asleep, Jubilee crept from the bed, stepped outside her room and shut the door. She ran her hands through her hair and leaned against the wall.

"She's finally asleep?"

Jubilee rubbed her neck and nodded. "I'm really worried about her, Hank."

Hank. She called him Hank. Jubilee had used his actual name. There was something endearing about the fact that the young woman who'd always called him some variation of 'Blue' was feeling serious enough to use his first name.

"I know, Jubilation. I am as well."

"Is there anything I can be doing for her right now? I feel so flipping useless just sitting around, waiting for her to have some psychotic break or something." She crossed the room and stood next to him at his lab table.

The large doctor smiled. "I highly doubt Marie will experience anything so serious. She is an extraordinarily powerful woman, Jubilee. I suspect that her suppression of the Phoenix entity has simply pushed her into a psychological cocoon, for lack of a more scientific term."

"So you think her mind is just healing up, waiting for the right time?"

"Yes, I do."

"Ugh, I hate waiting. So is there something I can do in here? I am on my way to becoming a brilliant genetic scientist, you know."

Jubilee turned to him and gave Hank one of her special raised eyebrow smirks when it hit her how striking Hank's smile was. Despite his bright blue fur, she could still make out the details of his face. He was a handsome man.

"You're not on your way to anything, Jubilation, you are already brilliant...and beautiful."

Jubilee smiled shyly, genuinely flattered by his compliment. Her pale face turned a light shade of red.

Did she just blush? She did. Jubilee blushed. He'd just flirted with the vivacious young lady standing next to him. And, to his surprise, he liked the idea of flirting with her a great deal. Indeed.

~oOo~


	13. Chapter 13

~oOo~

It was long past the middle of the night and Logan sat on the roof, nursing yet another beer. When a man with a healing factor attempts to drink himself into oblivion, it's not a pretty sight. Logan had been trying, very unsuccessfully, to numb the pain of Marie's words. He'd hoped that with the return of her powers that it meant her memories would follow close behind. Maybe it was just him being an optimist, which was pretty much nonexistent in his world, or maybe he was just being stupid; way more likely.

It would have been easier if she'd died. Shitty thought, really, but it was true. When he thought Jeannie died at Alkali, he was able to mourn her and start to move forward. But, this was a new level of torture. Knowing Marie was in the infirmary, struggling with his nightmares, with no memories of Logan or their bond and, oh yes, the possibility that she could end up in Scott's bed was fucking maddening. The Molson gone, he picked up a bottle of whiskey and tipped it to his mouth, feeling the welcome burn of the alcohol down his throat.

He smelled the clean, crisp scent of fresh rain and wood at the same time he heard the light footsteps making their way across the rooftop.

"Hey 'Ro."

The weather goddess sat down next to the brooding feral, scowling at the collection of beer bottles scattered across the tiles.

"You are making a mess, Logan."

"Ain't that the fuckin' truth."

She shook her head slowly. "You know very well that none of this is your fault. Rogue made a choice that day. She is a strong, capable woman, not someone you must protect and tuck away in your coat pocket."

"A fat lotta good my protection ever does. Got her taken by Magneto, almost sucked out of a jet and then ditched her for five years where she goes and kills someone who almost drives her insane." His smirk held no amusement. "If I'm a protector, they better redefine the goddamn word."

They sat in silence for a few moments, listening to the trees rustle softly and the crickets chirping their nocturnal song.

"She will come back to us, Logan. I just know she will."

The sigh that escaped him was laced with the heaviness of his grief.

"I want to believe it so bad, 'Ro."

"I will not accept that the two of you were destined to be separated. This is only a test. One that we may never understand but that will bring you closer in the end."

"From your lips to the big guy's ears."

Logan took another long swig of his beer.

Ororo smiled and patted Logan on the arm.

"I will leave you alone to your…thoughts." She stood up and pointed at the empty bottles. "Please clean up your mess, Logan. We wouldn't want the children to see the results of your...meditation."

"Yes, teacher."

The wind picked up and Ororo stepped off the roof and floated to the ground below. Logan smirked again but this time his eyes sparkled with humor.

"Showoff."

~oOo~

Three days.

Three days of nightmares.

Three days of her powers slowly returning.

Three days of not seeing Logan.

Apparently, he was a man who took someone's word very seriously. Marie had told him she didn't want him around and, so he'd effectively disappeared. Jubilee told her that he'd been skulking around the mansion, spending an inordinate amount of time in the Danger Room and working on his bikes. But he wouldn't leave the grounds. Despite the same feral drive that pushed her to run to the safety of the woods when she was afraid or stressed, Logan steadfastly refused any such comfort. He must be going out of his mind.

Marie had been wary of leaving the security of the med lab and had turned down offers from Scott, Jean, Jubilee and Ororo to go outside. She didn't want to inadvertently touch anyone or have an unknown power rise to the surface and hurt someone even accidentally. So she hid here in her little room, working with Charles at every opportunity, vainly attempting to recover anything that might help her remember even one detail about her life.

"Alright, that's _it_!"

Jubilee's voice boomed through the space. The young woman stomped her way over to Marie's room and stopped in the doorframe. Jubilee put her hands on her diminutive hips and glared.

"Get your ass out of that bed now, redneck."

"Jubilee, I'm.."

"No. No more 'oh, poor me, I don't want to hurt anyone', wah, wah, wah. You and I are going out for a hike and I don't want to hear one more excuse as to why you feel the need to sit here on your perky butt, being sulkier than an emo kid after finding out Hot Topic closed early."

"Seriously, Jubilee…"

"I am not taking no for an answer."

The two women sat there for a moment in a stare down that would have made even Logan uncomfortable. Finally, Marie hung her head in defeat. Jubilee was right. Hiding in here wasn't going to do her any good. It was time to take a step out on faith.

"Fine. You win, Jubes. Let me get on my clothes. First, though, you need to take me to find Logan. I need to apologize to him."

"It's about freaking time you two talked…hey…wait a minute. You called me Jubes."

"Yeah?"

Jubilee tried to play it off, not wanting Marie to either get her hopes up or feel disappointed if she couldn't remember. But she called Jubilee by her nickname and it allowed the diminutive firecracker another shred of hope.

"Yeah, it's a good handle for me. Now get dressed and be out here in five, chica."

Jubilee turned on her heel, walked to the main door and leaned on the wall.

Hank and Jean both smiled.

"We'd tried everything in our arsenal to get her to go out. The one thing we didn't do was flat out tell her." The redheaded doctor winked.

"Hey, when I need to be a pain in the ass, I pull out all the stops."

"I think pain in the ass is a rather harsh term. I'd say you were focused and driven." Hank continued working.

It was strange that a large, furry blue doctor would make Jubilee feel like a stuttering teenager again.

"Well, yeah, if you want to put it nicely Hank. Personally, I think some of the residents of this fine establishment would disagree with your assessment."

Hank actually stopped what he was doing and turned to face Jubilee. Since their mild flirtation a few days ago, she'd been coming down to see Marie more often. She and Hank talked, flirted some more and found that despite their age difference and opposing personalities, they did have a lot in common.

"Well, personally, I think some of the residents of this fine establishment can kiss my fuzzy blue posterior."

Jubilee laughed. "Language, Dr. McCoy!"

Marie came out of her room and noticed the interchange between Jubilee and Hank. She didn't need heightened senses to figure out those two were completely into each other. So why not up the ante?

"Hey, why don't you join us, Hank? I'll bet a nature walk would do you good, huh?"

"I have a feeling that Jubilee would not like our idea of a nature walk, Marie."

"Oh, what? She wouldn't appreciate being dragged off trail and bushwacking through the forest?"

Jubilee wrinkled her nose. "Hell to the no, kids. I'm sticking to the nice pretty paths." She took a moment to address Hank. "But it would be great if you wanted to come with."

The corners of his mouth rose. "I'll have to take a raincheck on the hike, but I would enjoy having dinner, if that would be alright."

"Yes!" Subtle, Jubes. Way to be subtle. Jubilee cleared her throat. "Yes. That would be great. I'll meet you around 6?"

"Sounds delightful."

There was a brief moment of silence and a quickly exchanged glance between Marie and Jean before Marie stepped toward the door and motioned for Jubilee.

"This was your bright idea, sunshine, let's get a move on."

Jean waited before the two women were out of the infirmary before she spoke.

"You'd make a cute couple, Hank."

"Dinner, Jean. We're just having dinner."

"I know, I'm just saying."

Pause.

"I couldn't agree more, Doctor Grey."

~oOo~

Jubilee and Marie found Logan working on his bike in the garage, the radio blaring heavy metal loud enough to drown out their footsteps.

"Huh…I would have taken Wolvie for a country fan what with the belt buckle the size of Cleveland."

"My belt buckle ain't that big, kid."

"I always forget about those big ears of yours, dude."

Logan sat facing the bike, his hands immersed in a twisted mass of metal and wires. He wasn't ready to turn around and look Marie in the eyes. Not when he knew there might never be a chance to be with her again. It hurt too fucking much.

"Somethin' I can do for you ladies?"

Marie's throat was tight. She didn't know how to find the words to apologize and explain her reaction to him the other day. His memories were still in her mind and the emotions he had towards her made Marie confused and anxious. Logan loved her and while she had no memory of it, there was an undeniable attraction she felt toward him. Maybe that attraction would be enough to bridge the distance between them. Maybe they could have a future.

Jubilee broke the awkward silence first.

"Yeah…so…I'm gonna go get us some water and stuff to nosh on during our little foray into the woods. Just come meet me in the kitchen when you're finished."

Jubilee turned away, not expecting Marie to take her eyes of Logan's back. Who could blame her, really, his back was pretty spectacular.

Standing behind Logan, Marie watched as he continued to work on the motorcycle, the muscles in his broad shoulders taught and flexed. His head moved to the side and she saw a cigar tucked in the corner of his mouth. That's where the smoky aroma in her sweatshirt came from.

He did love his cigars. Especially the Cubans he had smuggled in by his friends at the bar.

Before she could mull over where the hell she knew about Logan's method of obtaining cigars, his gruff but gentle voice interrupted her thoughts.

"What can I do for you, Marie."

"I just wanted to apologize for the other day."

"Got nothin' to apologize for."

"Yes, I do. This isn't your fault. I shouldn't have punished you for what happened."

"I should be the one sayin' I'm sorry. You didn't deserve to go through those fuckin' nightmares all over again."

Logan stopped working and wiped his hands on the rag that sat on the floor next to him. He stood up and walked to the radio, turning it off. He remained with his back to Marie, resting his left hand on the counter while he placed his right arm above his head on the vertical post next to the workbench.

Logan moved his head to the side again. Listening. Anticipating.

_The King of the Cage!_

The position of his body, this tilt of his head…the key slid into the lock inside her head, gently revealing her first memory of Logan. It swam into focus in front of her eyes.

_His bare torso glistened with sweat and the bruises running up and down the length of him marred his beautiful skin. He stood, his hand extended above him, grasping the metal fencing that served as his cage. She watched as another challenger entered the ring. The fight was over quickly; the larger man being soundly beaten by the smaller yet fiercer opponent. Logan moved back to his place and took a drag of his cigar, turning his head as if sensing her presence._

Wolverine.

The name shot from her mind. Realization. Recognition. Connection.

"Logan."

Her voice was no more than a whisper but it held more power than if she'd yelled at him with all her strength. His chest constricted from the effort it took not to cross the distance between them.

_Logan._

This time, her voice echoed through his mind just as clearly as when she'd spoken only a moment ago. He spun around to face her.

"Marie?"

The rush and power of the memories bombarded her, making her stagger backwards, her hands flailing out around her body in an attempt to find her balance, finally stopping just outside the garage. There were so many images now, she couldn't keep them straight in her head. It was if someone was just dumping her entire life in random order inside her head.

Logan sitting with her on the train.

Jubilee giving her a pair of expensive silk gloves.

Watching as Magneto held out his hands to touch her.

Spinning in the air with Jean, the power surging through her body as if she was on fire.

Logan moved forward and reached for Marie but as he did, she began to rise of the ground. He watched as a flicker of light grew to surround her body while her eyes turned opaque, much like Ororo's did when she summoned her power. He was about to scream her name when Marie's voice once again called out to him telepathically.

_It's alright, Logan._

Marie's body continued to ascend into the air and Logan watched as she became engulfed in an orange glow.

_Fuck. Again. Not again._

He was mentally running through scenarios to help her when Jean burst through the door of the garage. She stopped next to him and watched as Marie rose higher, eerily silent as she floated gracefully further away from them.

"Jeannie, do somethin'."

"I tried, Logan. Both Charles and I sensed her awakening and tried to contact her. She simply said, 'It's alright', and then closed herself off."

"She's a fuckin' _telepath_ now?"

"Logan, the Phoenix power was immense. God only knows what Rogue is capable of at this point."

That was not what he wanted to hear.

Marie felt herself hovering in the air as the power enveloped her, wrapping her in a warmth and peace she'd never experienced. At first, she expected the voices to return and prepared herself for another battle with the Phoenix. But as she searched her awareness, she realized there would be no more confrontation. No more voices. No more torture. Her mind had been fractured by the Phoenix; its anger and fury too much for Marie to absorb at one time. So, she had tucked everything away until her consciousness could accept her new power and what that would mean for her. For Logan.

Logan. He was her tether to the world. He was the reason that she was able to conquer Carol Danvers and he was the key to breaking through the barrier in order to reel her memories back from the blackness. Their connection was her one constant. He was her salvation just as much as she was his. How could she have forgotten how much she loved him? Knowing how much pain he'd been through at the thought of her not remembering him made her chest ache.

As Marie lowered herself back to the ground, Logan searched her eyes, praying for the spark of recognition that had been absent since she'd returned from the disastrous mission. She flashed him that smile. The one that told him that no matter if Brad Fucking Pitt walked into the room, she wanted only him. He inhaled deeply and her scent assaulted him, almost making him dizzy. It was tinged with something different, slightly bitter and acrid, but it was still all her. Then he felt it, the same sensation he'd had earlier just before she left the garage; it was the knowledge that Marie was in his mind. It wasn't her speaking to him; it was more like the gentle crackle of a telephone line left open. Then, as earlier in the garage, he heard her voice in his head.

_Logan. Get the fuck over here._

That was all it took. Logan bolted forward, crushing Marie to him, his face buried in her neck, not even pausing to worry about whether or not he should touch her skin. He drew in another deep breath and the rich aroma of her scent filled him again. His arms wrapped almost entirely around her, his hands gripping her sides as if he intended to ground her to the earth forever. A low growl emanated from his throat and he had to suppress the desire to mark her neck and claim her all over again. He was never fucking letting her go.

Ever.

Marie pressed her face to Logan's chest and reveled in the feel and smell of him. That's what she'd missed more than anything since she'd woken up; their connection...their bond. It had been like living at the bottom of a well; seeing only darkness and being deprived of all the sensations she used to keep herself rooted and stable in the world. Now, she not only had the feral senses, but, it seemed the Phoenix powers had opened up a new telepathic link between her and Logan.

His hands came up to the sides of her face, mentally noting how amazing she looked, even without her luxurious hair. The tickle of her voice inside his head made him smile.

_It'll grow back._

_Fuck, darlin', this is weird._

"You prefer to talk the old fashioned way?"

"Hell, you read my mind most of the time anyway."

They stood for a moment, and Marie saw the tears in Logan's eyes. His mouth crashed down upon hers fiercely and possessively, reveling in the taste and smell of her. There was no description for how relieved, thankful and happy he was to be standing here with the woman he'd thought was lost to him forever. Logan stopped kissing Marie and touched his forehead to hers.

"I'm so fuckin' glad you're back, Marie."

"Understatement of the goddamn year, I'd say."

"You ever go on a mission without me and I'm going to kick your ass."

"Yeah, yeah. You and what army."

He kissed her again. It was intense and passionate but, most of all, filled with a gratefulness for her life. A joy at knowing she was standing with him again as his best friend, his lover and his mate. Forever.

~oOo~


	14. Epilogue

oOo~

No more than twelve hours after Logan and Marie reunited that afternoon, he proposed to her. Of course, being Logan, he asked her right after they'd had sex. Incredible, passionate, sweaty and vigorous sex. The actual words were muffled because his mouth was buried in the crook of her neck.

"Marry me."

"What?"

"Marry. Me."

She laughed. Hard.

"It was that good?"

"Smartass."

"You know you don't have to make an honest woman out of me to get me to fuck you, Logan. I'll happily do that forever."

"What can I say, I'm an old fashioned guy."

"Yeah, so old fashioned you propose to me not on bended knee or with a big assed diamond but while we're naked and you've just ridden me like I was a rodeo horse."

"Well, maybe I'm not that old fashioned. So...will you?"

"Since you asked so nicely...yes, you big lug. I'll marry you. But you still have to buy me a big assed diamond."

"No sweat, baby. You've earned it."

Marie laughed again and slapped his cheek.

"You're such a jerk sometimes, Logan."

"I'll make it up to you darlin'."

"Damn straight you will."

Four months later they'd married in Ororo's gardens under a brilliantly blue, cloudless sky. It had been a simple but beautiful wedding with their friend, Kurt Wagner, officiating. Jubilee caught the bouquet and Marie had smiled at how calm Hank had been, watching his girlfriend tease him with the flowers while sitting on his lap, whispering in his ear. She hadn't realized that his fur was capable of blushing.

During their first dance – yes, Logan had agreed to one dance and one dance only – Marie watched as Scott and Jean sat together, tentatively holding hands and smiling at each other. They had spent the last four months starting over with each other and it seemed that the chemistry that had brought them together in the first place was still there. Marie was glad for them. Not only because they both deserved happiness but that, like Logan and her, they seemed destined to be together.

Now, she stood on the balcony of their beachfront villa in Hawaii, watching the sun dance on top of the waves as the trees swayed lazily in the breeze. Marie closed her eyes and smiled as the wind tickled her face and made her nightgown brush against her legs.

"Hey."

Logan's deep and very sleepy voice rose up from behind her. She turned around to see her husband naked and entwined in the sheets, his long leg draped across the length of the bed.

"Hey yourself."

"You're not in bed."

"My husband, the observant one."

"You're also wearin' clothes."

"Again, very astute of you."

"Wife, get your very hot ass in this bed."

"Husband, get your very hot ass out of that bed and watch the sunrise with me."

He grunted loudly, feigning frustration while he made his way towards her. Logan moved behind Marie and wrapped his arms around her, feeling her body mold itself into his. Her head tilted back to rest on his shoulder and together they watched as the rising sun reflected on the gently moving water.

"It's beautiful, darlin'."

"It's more than beautiful, it's perfect."

Marie turned around and leaned against the balcony railing. She brought her hands up to Logan's chest and ran her fingers gently up to his face. She could never get enough of looking into his eyes.

"You're perfect, Marie."

"Flatterer. You just want me back in that bed."

Logan moved forward slightly and put his hands on Marie's hips. The delicate silk that covered her body contrasted with the taught muscles underneath. She was such an amazing contradiction.

"I mean it. Everythin' about you is perfect. I haven't felt this peaceful in…well, fuck, I can't remember when."

"I feel the same way, baby. I really never thought I could be this happy."

He kissed her gently, taking time to feel the softness of her lips. Their tongues danced with each other and their hands roamed over one another's bodies. Logan and Marie knew each other as intimately as two people could but each new session of lovemaking found them feeling like it was their first time. That was probably the best upside of having both a physical and psychic connection.

"God, I love you, Marie." He practically breathed his words into her mouth.

"Right back at ya, big guy."

She kissed him again and smiled.

"So, is this our happily ever after?"

"Yeah, darlin', it is."

Marie pushed him back and away from her. He watched as her hands reached down to gather the material of her nightgown in her hands. She lifted her arms and, in one swift motion, pulled the sheer material up and over her head. Marie stood before him naked and bathed in the glow of the rising sun.

"Oh, I think we can bump that up to spectacular ever after, don't you?"

So much for peaceful.

"Goddammit Marie, your body is seriously damagin' my calm."

He grabbed her waist and lifted her up, her legs wrapping around his hips.

She giggled and then was lost in his scent, his touch and his desire for her. And, when it was over and they lie in each other's arms, sated and at peace, they watched as the sun continued to make its way up into the sky and listened to the waves lapping on the rocks below.

It was a spectacularly happy ending, indeed.

~oOo~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and thank you for the kudos and comments. :)


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